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Pulling Up Our (Rainbow) Socks!!

Dear Reader,
How is your summer going? Hard to believe we are more than half way through this sizzling season! I secretly love the start of the autumnal season-cooler mornings, crisp air, the feeling of tea warming up my bones and who could forget the coziness found in knitwear? Yep, I am obsessed with jumpers in the way a kid is with Christmas! However like always the thought that year is slipping can instill so much panic, a thought that for me and, I’m sure for many, is not warmly welcomed.

So many promises are made at the start of a new year, month, week, day that we will start and stick to a routine, a routine that will maybe make us fitter, more healthy, more productive, make us feel alive or the good old classic….will makes us feel like new women-don’t forget the all-important ding along with this! All well and good if someone can stick to this, I salute them and they have my complete admiration, but what about the rest of that has veered slightly of track and lost that tiny bit of motivation to fulfill ideas? These fantastic plans didn’t include the loss of peak motivation moments (perhaps because we were such motivated snobs that day that we looked the other way). These fantastic plans didn’t consider the days where we just weren’t feeling like being a go getter and stuff. These fantastic plans didn’t include days were we just wanted to lose ourselves in a hobby. These fantastic plans didn’t include days where we just wanted to binge on a series (do not judge or be ashamed of yourself for doing this, I did this one day last weekend- ‘Charmed’ is worthy for this material, just saying!-). These fantastic plans didn’t plan for them days that let’s be honest, we felt a bit shitty.
Somewhere in the back of our mind we are telling ourselves just to pull up our socks and man up! If it was that simple I’m sure everyone would be on top of their A-game all of the time. But it’s not always this simple. Well, I would like to think that there was an alternative. That instead of having a tunnel vision, one could take more of a scenic view. That we can go at our own rate. That we can abolish all those tight deadlines. That we can pull up our own socks, in our own way and at our own time. They should be no comparison, no berating ourselves, no being ashamed. Know that YOU CAN get back into rhythm, but give yourself the permission to wander and you may come to find that you’ll come back twice as strong, rather than resisting it.

In my last blog post Tell Your Truth, I told you about the little irritation I have in regards to my slowness to complete things due to Cerebral Palsy. This can be little more frustrating on the days where my mojo has gone for a little wander! Those plans that were intended for that day are left unticked and yep, my mojo becomes ever distant! Fighting to get back there fast won’t help.

Rather than making this big plans, normally created on day where we can be described as pocket rockets, we need to stop this motivational snobbery and implement a routine that leaves room for times that we are not quite on best form. This way we may not also burn out, find ourselves at the edge of a rabbit hole and feel overwhelmed. We also may find ourselves to be more further along than first thought!

Remember to keep on pulling up your socks in your own way!!
All my love XX`

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Finding Your Way!!

?✨?Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ?✨?

Find your own happy today and start to create a life you love ❤️ The brilliant @spotgirldesign has to the words out of my mouth with this lovely illustration ???

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Show All of You!!

?✨ Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨?

Don’t forget to embrace ALL of you. We cannot be a go getter all of the time and that what make us human!! We have hearts. We feel stuff. We can show others how to be strong be being open rather than buckling under pressure. I know I’m not good at this, I don’t think many are, but being reminded that we also have a delicate side of ourselves allows us to breakdown our wall a little. As @bymariandrew demonstrates these aspects gives us strength ??

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Have Fun, You!

✨Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨

Always live the funnest life you can?

As a child the tremor in my hand was a little more severe, the things I could do was very limited. Things like colouring connotes fun and enjoyment for most kids, something which comes with little judgement. My colouring was considered “messy” and “too far out the lines” by teachers and always gave me the option to just pick the colours and the rest someone else would do.

When adult colouring books came out a few years ago it did really spark an interest as I thought it would just rack up them thoughts. But like a lot of things -it worth a second shot! And now it’s one of the most relaxing hobbies ? regain the fun in what you lost or in something new or …. just have fun ???

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Do You

?✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ?✨?

From time to time we all have experienced that feeling of not doing enough. Thinking that we are not where we thought we would be; that we are so far behind that we’ll never catch up and then we see other people doing the similar thing to us that we believe to be miles ahead of us. With all these thoughts, catastrophizing the situation that we find ourselves in, we forget our differences and that it is these differences that makes us so beautifully unique. These diversities will see every one of us go on different paths and face our own challenges. So we will naturally do things in our own way, at our own speed.

If you feel like you going too slow or too fast, remember that you are doing things your way and you can’t compare that to anything. Look for the Frank Sinatra in you and be proud in saying you “Did it…(your)…way”!!! ??❤?

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Give Yourself a Chance

?✨? Happy Magic Monday ?✨?
Do you ever get overwhelmed by your own thoughts? Do you feel like instead of your to-do list shrinking it only gets longer? Or have lots of exciting ideas but getting there fills you with panic due to the individual components it has,leaving you feeling that there is just not enough time?
It is important to remember that you are just one person and you will only can do so much at one time. Take a moment to just breath and be present ???
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Celebrations and Announcements!!!

Dear Reader,

I am writing to you today with a whole lot of excitement along with a few nerves!! I have been itching to tell you something for so long but you know when you are unsure whether it is right timing? Well, this is something I have debated and, oh my, the amount of fantastic imaginative stories my little brain has cooked up-some are  completely delicious, while others I would rather pass on. But, my fabulous dear one, as we have previously discovered the time is now-live on the other side of fear!!!

This also comes on a day that marks my second year of blogging! Time that has gone so fast. Time that has in some ways allowed me to be more open and honest, especially this last year. Time that has removed one of my big fears and has allowed me to find my shoes, at least for now. All of this has come from writing to you and sharing my thoughts that you have very kindly read and have also shared your views, which I am hugely thankful for!!

I have recently watched a speech that one of my favourite authors, Elizabeth Gilbert, gave a few years ago about passion and curiosity. She tells her audience not to get too hung up on finding their passion and just be curious, explaining that by being curious “[It] Just might lead you to your passion!” This is exactly what happened to me through writing on here; when I first started writing I didn’t know really where it would lead. It was a hobby but then it grew into something that I loved, that truly awoke me.  I write with, hopefully, an empowering message that you can, that there are no limits, to reach for you dreams and to be present- using every moment to be an opportunity to enhance yourself; this is not only for you, but to remind myself as well when I don’t feel as fabulous as I should!

From the support of you and my family and friendd (and also my fluffy friend Talulah, seen in the picture above) my self-believe has grown, allowing mee to take my writing one exciting step further (gulp)…. I am in the middle of writing a book!! This is something I am really exciting about and cannot wait to share more about this with you.  I do not want to give away too much yet but what I will say is that these writings are, on the one hand, very personal and also, on the other, universal and are words that represents in every way a beautiful journey.  Through this project I have learnt to let go of my fear of not knowing where life is going and just dance in the moment. It is my wish that you can do the same and feel joy when finding your shoes

Within the following months, I hope to share with you more about this exciting venture, but for now I want to thank you for your continued support- it means more than you will ever know!!  Every comment, every thought is truly appreciated in their own right. Remember to live well and be happy!

All my love XX

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A Beautiful Awakening

Dear Reader,

Have anyone ever told you that the possibilities are endless? Well, my fabulous one, the possibilities ARE endless!!!

I have recently and have experienced and reaffirmed this. This has allowed me to simply feel, in every sense of the word, alive!!! And this all started with a text. Yep, that right a text from my gorgeous Sister-who I have previously introduced you to as Mermaid-, with the words ‘the holiday is booked.’ This random, out of the blue message left me, as you can imagine, a tad confused. It turns out that we would be going to Greece and would be next to the sea. A type of holiday I have always dreamt of, but somehow I thought would never happen. Maybe I subconsciously I feared ‘how this would work?’ and with this, I am referring to traveling to somewhere like this with a disability and my wheels. I always write to you to say go live your dreams and don’t be feared out of living and I think I have been honest with this, but even I sometimes get double-thinking and question myself, until I either wake myself or get woken. This time Mermaid beautifully woke me!!!

Me and Mermaid

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Sooo, last month I saw, I felt, I smelt, I heard and (of course-this is me) I tasted Greece and it was noting short of magical!! Greece welcomed as we were touching down witnessing the most beautiful sunset –the excitement began!! The first glimpses of Greece in morning rays were stunning!!

One of the things that I love most in life is trying new things and going to different places as it constantly allows you to shift your perspective. My time in Greece definitely allowed this to happen. Just going with the days, being present in the moment and absorbing all of what the days had to offer is something I did, with my full attention captured by what I saw before me. The ability to fully be in the moment is something one should be able and allowed to do regardless of where they are; in their daily routines or in new environments. However by being somewhere new, the ability to stop the busy mind or at least, allow the mind to be a little calmer is, somewhat, easier; there are no pressures, no deadlines and there is a complete disconnection from your own culture for a while; you can just be with the environment and the people you are with.

I recently heard someone say that life is lived in moments and I wholeheartedly agree with this; for me, how you relate and behave to life is reflected in the moments you live. Therefore, the obvious question is then, how to you live your moments? Are they lived stationary? Are they lived mundanely? Are they lived repetitively? Are they lived through fear? Are they lived through boldness? Are they lived individually? And most importantly, are they a reflection of you? Whilst being on the beach, I realised just how different the definition of enjoyment is for each person and how they wish to live their moment on the beach; some relishing the rays of the sun and sunbathing, some were enjoying a walk along the beach, some were swimming in the sea, some were paragliding and some were –what looked liked- introducing their children to the sea. We all see, feel and think in unique ways and play out these senses in ways we feel fit best. I lived my moment on the beach by being by the shallows of the sea and watched the waves covering my legs like a warm blanket! The refreshing air, the sea breeze and the lovely company I had with Mermaid are times I truly cherish, being a perfect retreat for the soul!!!

As I sat there looking across the deep blue sea, I realised what living and being alive actually is. All these stories and lies we tell ourselves do not serve any nutrients for growth, it does the opposite and eats away at the ones we have. We tell ourselves we can’t, that it just too hard- but we are still picturing in our mind what it would be like to do that thing we want although ‘we can’t.’ I was able to do something that excited me everyday, unaware of what each day would bring but eager to find out how the day would unfold!! This was a long way from that subconscious thought I had! My wheels allowed me to see Greece- hugely helped by Mermaid and made me see that whatever obstacles you have, there is always a way!!

My fabulous one, you should not be feared out of your desires. The dreams that you have, you have dreamt of them for a reason-it is your duty to live them!!!Thank you to my beautiful Mermaid for this reminder!!!

All my love XX

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I Am Proud of Me!!!

Dear Reader,

A few months ago, when I posted Here’s to you! Here’s to me! Here’s to us! I asked you to celebrate you and the amazing things you have achieved; no matter how big or small you think they are, they ARE significant!! I would like to share with you something very important to me that I achieved over the last few months!!!

*Search for the little girl inside of you needed for this part.* As young girls, some of us admired the magic and mystery of dress up and make-up taking notice of what routines our mums and/or other influential women in our life undertook as they got ready. The curious little ladies that we were, would be vocal with our curiosity and ask questions such as “What are you putting on your lips?” She would reply and show us how the lipstick is applied and ask us to be their model and apply the glitzy lipstick on us, hell yes we thought-we are already in position!!! “Now press you lips together for that beautiful smooth finish” she would say after putting it on our lips, showing us this action. We would then copy with excitement and maybe do this action countless times, (yep I did this,- I’m pretty sure that lipstick didn’t stay long on!!) feeling really adult!!!

When we get older we might develop more of an interest in make-up and wearing a little ourselves, wanting to be a little woman. I know I did!  I was around 14 when I got my first powder – it was in a round, mint green box by Miss Sporty I felt so excited to try it out-the little woman in me was unleashed! As you might know, if you have visited my blog before, I have Cerebral Palsy and as part of how I am affected is that my hands can be a little uncoordinated, so me applying make-up…well you could definitely I see I had something on my face but I am not so sure that it would have been finished look I was aiming for! So to avoid looking like a clown or something along those lines, someone else would apply my make-up, this would be either my mum or my sister. I feel really grateful that that these beautiful ladies- who are my influential women of all time- took time to help me get ready and knew that it was important to me but as I got older and especially recently I wondered what it would be like to do my own make-up when going out.

So…..instead of just wondering-because we all know that don’t lead anywhere most of the time- a few months ago I thought I would try. At first I was worried in case I couldn’t do it and scrutinize what I might have done, comparing it to a picture in my mind, and be more annoyed than before with not being able ‘to go and do my thing.’ Whilst having these thoughts I then realized I am doing the exact opposite of what I say to others when they experience symptoms of fear, telling them to ‘just go for it.’ Having answered myself the question to ‘what I would say to someone else?’, I psyched myself up and decided I would just see what happens; I took out my make-up bag, sat at my  dressing table and started to apply! I started with my powder, took my time and just allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of DOING my own make-up! Now, as you know I am a big supporter of self-belief, but it is nice to seek reassurance when you are not 100% sure on something. So on this day I asked my sister for advice on how the make-up looked. It turned out I didn’t do too badly!!

From that day, I have continued to do my own make up when going out, getting better and more confident with this. The feeling of getting ready has totally changed, getting ready is definitely more fun!!! The other day my sister and I were going out and we could get ready TOGETHER, rather than my sister doing my make up for me. With this we could ask each questions, such as ‘have I got too much blusher on?’ and just enjoy the getting ready process, whilst jamming to some tunes of course!!

There might be some who will read this and not ‘get’ why being able to put on make-up is a big deal but duuuude, it is-to me it is-.  Being able to do something you couldn’t do before is a huge deal giving you such an empowering feeling-you know all thatdetermination and hard work has paid off!! Dig deep and shout your personal achievements loudly and proudly!!! You could start-if you wanted-by sharing in the comments below, what you are proud of yourself for?

Looking forward to celebrating you!!

All my love XX

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Thriving Together

 

Dear Reader,

Up until now I have only disclosed about my disability once, earlier this year. Finding My Shoes was a way of saying yes I have cerebral palsy but I am a lot more than that. I am a lot more than the results you would find on Google if you were to type in ‘cerebral palsy.’ I would be waving my hands over here hoping you’d asked me directly about CP and my experience, instead of using a one-dimensional medium to assemble a picture; this picture would be highly inaccurate-no definitely inaccurate-, sorry to insult your wild imagination.
I am going to add a new element to From This Window, sharing you my experience of CP. I’m not quite sure if this whole new element will work, or whether it will work at all, but I am excited to see how this path will unfold. I hope that through writing about my journey with CP I will be more able to speak about my disability more comfortably and maybe through this new dimension, other people with CP or with other obstacles can relate and together we can thrive; I’m all for dancing on my own but isn’t it exciting, sometimes, when achievements are shared and built with others!! Who’s with me?!!

I have previously described to you that for me CP is like a lifelong teacher, so I will now share with you some tips and tricks that I have learnt and still learning along way!!!

Laughter, laughter and, yep, more laughter. People that know me will know I love to laugh and try to seek fun wherever I can. I think this innate quality is what has kept me level headed with CP. Therefore in a situation quite easily seem bleak, which would allow them moody clouds to roll in, I try and see a gap between CP and me. So when I rock up in my wheelchair and meet people for the first time they might act rather strange, by this I mean they might speak in slow motion and being quite patronising as if they I trying to feed me I brain cell that I need to chomp on. Then I reply: It is so funny to watch their faces as I speak, as if I have just ripped up their treasured tales that they whole-heartedly believed about society. I almost tell them “yep, I have seen enough of you tonsils,” but that would spoil the fun! On a serious note though, it is these moments ,when you feel that you are being prejudge, is when you need to whack up that fun dial in your mind and take whatever shred of light you can. This extends to making fun out of yourself: instances where CP does it thing and throws in a few wobbles as I walk, I see it as a unique style of ballet (but my toes remain completely intact).I am not saying that it is easy because sometimes it is very hard, especially the days when  you don’t feel as fabulous as you should; but please remember time will past and your time is to precious so don’t let anyone  or anything influence your state of mind- remove the root of that weed!!

Stop looking for excuses. We are the best at making excuses for ourselves- we did invent it after all!! We blame anything we can as to why we can’t do something and then we believe in that blame and think that it is real and so it becomes, as we think, a legitimate reason for why we can’t do something. I hold my hand up and say I have excused myself from situations because I believed in the obstacle I put  in the way; my speech is slightly impaired and used this to hide behind and asked who I knew well to speak on my behalf. But I wasn’t giving myself the chance to let others hear me, already thinking that I knew how and interaction would pan out: I would say something but they wouldn’t understand, then I would repeat what I said but they still wouldn’t know what I was saying, meanwhile my face would grow red with embarrassment. BUT this was my prejudgment. Slowly, with the encouragement of family and other people around me I grew my voice and realised that, on the whole, most people did understand me, in turn this increased me self-esteem. There are still time when people don’t understand words I say, but then I think how else I can phrase this to be understood. If that don’t work, I then ask my companion to repeat what I have said. There are still times when this excuse tries to creep in, but then there’s a saying “if you did it once you can do it again.” If that don’t talk to my excuse, I don’t know what will!!

Get creative! This tip follows from the previous. Having a disability means that sometime you have to take an alternative route to get to where you want to go-who wants to be a sheep anyway(not that I have anything against sheep)?! So, you knock down the walls of “I can’t,” step out of your comfort zone, move your sorry butt and make it happen!!  For me this means thinking of the resources that I have and using them to my advantage. I am doing this right now by writing to you. I am combining my experience of CP with my passion of writing and motivating others and moving forward to be more honest and open with myself and others; by starting with something that is more natural to me, i.e. writing thoughts down, it could help me in others areas life and how I deal with situations. So, moral of the tip: use what you got!

Never feel guilty! Okay big, scary, deep, I-can’t-believe-I-could-actually-write-that-down tip!!! This is something I am still learning and maybe will always be a continuing lesson. As a result of my CP, I need assistance from others for everyday tasks; this reliance on others at times leaves me with a deep sense of guilt, knowing that they are giving up their time for me. I know the people around might think these thoughts are completely absurd and might even be hurt, which is not my intention at all and heighten my guilt in turn. But instead of continuing on this helpless and hopeless path, I can channel this guilt into gratefulness and being thankful that there are people in my life who help me and allow me to continue to make the most out of living!! This was very hard to write, but important to write-write out your demons and change them into helpful elves!!

Just forget about!! Urmmm…okay this might strange, giving these words half a sneer, but seriously dude, drop the resistance and just forget about it once in a while!! Whatever your challenge is you deserve to take a break from it and let something else capture your full attention! Don’t you ever just enjoy the freeing feeling of just being in the moment? Well, I love it! It‘s in these times when I am most myself! Disability is not a definition of me nor should I let it; it’s something I happen to have, just like I happen to be a girl. So I will go out and enjoy, singing and dancing the night away, I will face fears and go on cable cars, squeezing my friend’s  hand in the process (for that I am very sorry), I will go and find nature hidden gems and admire something so much more greater and magnificent than ever imaginable and I will laugh because, Reader, life can be beautiful if you just let it and just be you, the fun-loving, inexcusable, creative, guilt-free, care-free you!!

These tips that I have learnt have helped me tremendously and keeps me moving forward. I hope these tips has also caused you something to think about; I would truly love to know what you think and maybe you have guidelines of you own you live by to help you, feel free to share this too!! Let’s thrive together!!

All my love XX