Girls Just Want To Have Fun!!!

Hello Reader,

How long has it been since posting something in ‘Let’s Thrive’? Only in like forever ago! I know the last couple of these posts have started like this, but you have not been far from my thoughts! Today I just want to talk about having a little fun!!

People that know me well, will know that I love to laugh lots and seek enjoyment wherever I can. A few months back, some of these lovely humans organized an afternoon to play the real life ‘Where’s Wally?’ as well as ‘Where’s the Unicorn?’ and ‘Where’s the clown?’ We all had to wear some snazzy head gear and go and hide in a park. This time was filled with lots of laughter, good vibes and FUN! Moments like these are just as, if not more, important than adult life that sometimes can get a little much! While we there enjoying as my dear friend would say ”getting Ninja” sneaking behind trees and running to dodge our spies, we did get some strange looks at our head gear while other just laughed with us. The sad thing is the having fun and letting your inner child take control for a while, gets overlooked and the very idea of moving away from the ‘altogether woman’ that people see you as, or this persona that you put out into the world is terrifying; letting yourself been seen in another light sometimes can the hardest thing you can do- you have even less control than you did, or thought you did, before.

But, does it ever get boring? Does staying in your beautifully arranged, clean cut box ever grow tiresome? Do you ever yearn to mess up sometimes, so that you can take off and be free?
We make ourselves feel pressure and that we ought to have a handle on things all of the time. The truth is though we don’t. We think we do, but we don’t. Taking everything so seriously takes away possibility, takes away that gap between you and the thing that you are obsessing over. The gap needed to feel you! I am a self-confessed over thinker and at times it can get in the way and you guessed it, stops all this fun that could happen

I am writing this to say to you, and to remind myself, to get adventurous, get messy and be free. Life is way too short to be unhappy, to carry unwanted weight, to only let the fun you wish you were having to live out in your mind. Start now, even if it means splashing in a puddle when’s no one looking, watching a clip of your favourite comedian, singing one of you favourite guilty pleasures or trying…. to walking like a penguin (dude, its fun!).

I hope you will let yourself have a little more fun and when doing so not judge yourself for it. I would love to know how you will get in touch with your inner child!

All my love XX

Be A Light

✨?✨ Happy Magic Monday My Fabulous Ones ✨?✨

Being inspired by others is something that never tires. One lady who inspires hugely is @tajia_love ? This incredible lady shares her experience with Cerebral Palsy to encourage others to take the lead in their life ? Recently @tajia_love took to the stage of New York Fashion Week with her purpose to change the way people think about themselves -to love themselves and to embrace who they are? This took her lots of strength and gave hope to many including me? Again this is a reminder you a not your disability, you are light ✨ Thank you @tajia_love for all you do ✨??✨

Who inspires you?

Take Your Time

?✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ?✨?

Always remember to take time for you to be the best that you can be you can be. It’s okay to have time out. It’s okay to switch off for a while. It’s okay to do things differently and perhaps not even do them things at all. Take your time. Make your move when you are ready and don’t judge yourself when you do????

Inspire Each Other!

?✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones?✨?

There nothing more magic than human connection, which can be found and formed in many ways ? Social media, although there is a dark and dangerous side to it, it can be a platform to encourage and inspire and can allow like minded people to find each other, something that would not happen otherwise. @kreationsbykittles has Cerebral Palsy and shares her triumphs on her page. A few days ago I received a wonderful surprise in the post- one of @kreationsbykittles beautiful paintings, which I just love love love! She paints with her cp affected hand which I think is just amazing-I know I would find this really hard to do!!

Receiving this post inspires me, firstly because it shows what determination can do and wills me to do better and secondly it a reminder that all of us on instagram and all other social media are real and therefore genuine connections can be made ???

Be A Leader

?✨?Happy Magic Monday My Fabulous Ones ?✨?

This is you reminder that no one has control over your life but you. You are the leader. You are director. You are the author. Do not let anyone else hold your pen ???

Have Fun, You!

✨Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨

Always live the funnest life you can?

As a child the tremor in my hand was a little more severe, the things I could do was very limited. Things like colouring connotes fun and enjoyment for most kids, something which comes with little judgement. My colouring was considered “messy” and “too far out the lines” by teachers and always gave me the option to just pick the colours and the rest someone else would do.

When adult colouring books came out a few years ago it did really spark an interest as I thought it would just rack up them thoughts. But like a lot of things -it worth a second shot! And now it’s one of the most relaxing hobbies ? regain the fun in what you lost or in something new or …. just have fun ???

A Beautiful Awakening

Dear Reader,

Have anyone ever told you that the possibilities are endless? Well, my fabulous one, the possibilities ARE endless!!!

I have recently and have experienced and reaffirmed this. This has allowed me to simply feel, in every sense of the word, alive!!! And this all started with a text. Yep, that right a text from my gorgeous Sister-who I have previously introduced you to as Mermaid-, with the words ‘the holiday is booked.’ This random, out of the blue message left me, as you can imagine, a tad confused. It turns out that we would be going to Greece and would be next to the sea. A type of holiday I have always dreamt of, but somehow I thought would never happen. Maybe I subconsciously I feared ‘how this would work?’ and with this, I am referring to traveling to somewhere like this with a disability and my wheels. I always write to you to say go live your dreams and don’t be feared out of living and I think I have been honest with this, but even I sometimes get double-thinking and question myself, until I either wake myself or get woken. This time Mermaid beautifully woke me!!!

Me and Mermaid

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Sooo, last month I saw, I felt, I smelt, I heard and (of course-this is me) I tasted Greece and it was noting short of magical!! Greece welcomed as we were touching down witnessing the most beautiful sunset –the excitement began!! The first glimpses of Greece in morning rays were stunning!!

One of the things that I love most in life is trying new things and going to different places as it constantly allows you to shift your perspective. My time in Greece definitely allowed this to happen. Just going with the days, being present in the moment and absorbing all of what the days had to offer is something I did, with my full attention captured by what I saw before me. The ability to fully be in the moment is something one should be able and allowed to do regardless of where they are; in their daily routines or in new environments. However by being somewhere new, the ability to stop the busy mind or at least, allow the mind to be a little calmer is, somewhat, easier; there are no pressures, no deadlines and there is a complete disconnection from your own culture for a while; you can just be with the environment and the people you are with.

I recently heard someone say that life is lived in moments and I wholeheartedly agree with this; for me, how you relate and behave to life is reflected in the moments you live. Therefore, the obvious question is then, how to you live your moments? Are they lived stationary? Are they lived mundanely? Are they lived repetitively? Are they lived through fear? Are they lived through boldness? Are they lived individually? And most importantly, are they a reflection of you? Whilst being on the beach, I realised just how different the definition of enjoyment is for each person and how they wish to live their moment on the beach; some relishing the rays of the sun and sunbathing, some were enjoying a walk along the beach, some were swimming in the sea, some were paragliding and some were –what looked liked- introducing their children to the sea. We all see, feel and think in unique ways and play out these senses in ways we feel fit best. I lived my moment on the beach by being by the shallows of the sea and watched the waves covering my legs like a warm blanket! The refreshing air, the sea breeze and the lovely company I had with Mermaid are times I truly cherish, being a perfect retreat for the soul!!!

As I sat there looking across the deep blue sea, I realised what living and being alive actually is. All these stories and lies we tell ourselves do not serve any nutrients for growth, it does the opposite and eats away at the ones we have. We tell ourselves we can’t, that it just too hard- but we are still picturing in our mind what it would be like to do that thing we want although ‘we can’t.’ I was able to do something that excited me everyday, unaware of what each day would bring but eager to find out how the day would unfold!! This was a long way from that subconscious thought I had! My wheels allowed me to see Greece- hugely helped by Mermaid and made me see that whatever obstacles you have, there is always a way!!

My fabulous one, you should not be feared out of your desires. The dreams that you have, you have dreamt of them for a reason-it is your duty to live them!!!Thank you to my beautiful Mermaid for this reminder!!!

All my love XX

I Am Proud of Me!!!

Dear Reader,

A few months ago, when I posted Here’s to you! Here’s to me! Here’s to us! I asked you to celebrate you and the amazing things you have achieved; no matter how big or small you think they are, they ARE significant!! I would like to share with you something very important to me that I achieved over the last few months!!!

*Search for the little girl inside of you needed for this part.* As young girls, some of us admired the magic and mystery of dress up and make-up taking notice of what routines our mums and/or other influential women in our life undertook as they got ready. The curious little ladies that we were, would be vocal with our curiosity and ask questions such as “What are you putting on your lips?” She would reply and show us how the lipstick is applied and ask us to be their model and apply the glitzy lipstick on us, hell yes we thought-we are already in position!!! “Now press you lips together for that beautiful smooth finish” she would say after putting it on our lips, showing us this action. We would then copy with excitement and maybe do this action countless times, (yep I did this,- I’m pretty sure that lipstick didn’t stay long on!!) feeling really adult!!!

When we get older we might develop more of an interest in make-up and wearing a little ourselves, wanting to be a little woman. I know I did!  I was around 14 when I got my first powder – it was in a round, mint green box by Miss Sporty I felt so excited to try it out-the little woman in me was unleashed! As you might know, if you have visited my blog before, I have Cerebral Palsy and as part of how I am affected is that my hands can be a little uncoordinated, so me applying make-up…well you could definitely I see I had something on my face but I am not so sure that it would have been finished look I was aiming for! So to avoid looking like a clown or something along those lines, someone else would apply my make-up, this would be either my mum or my sister. I feel really grateful that that these beautiful ladies- who are my influential women of all time- took time to help me get ready and knew that it was important to me but as I got older and especially recently I wondered what it would be like to do my own make-up when going out.

So…..instead of just wondering-because we all know that don’t lead anywhere most of the time- a few months ago I thought I would try. At first I was worried in case I couldn’t do it and scrutinize what I might have done, comparing it to a picture in my mind, and be more annoyed than before with not being able ‘to go and do my thing.’ Whilst having these thoughts I then realized I am doing the exact opposite of what I say to others when they experience symptoms of fear, telling them to ‘just go for it.’ Having answered myself the question to ‘what I would say to someone else?’, I psyched myself up and decided I would just see what happens; I took out my make-up bag, sat at my  dressing table and started to apply! I started with my powder, took my time and just allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of DOING my own make-up! Now, as you know I am a big supporter of self-belief, but it is nice to seek reassurance when you are not 100% sure on something. So on this day I asked my sister for advice on how the make-up looked. It turned out I didn’t do too badly!!

From that day, I have continued to do my own make up when going out, getting better and more confident with this. The feeling of getting ready has totally changed, getting ready is definitely more fun!!! The other day my sister and I were going out and we could get ready TOGETHER, rather than my sister doing my make up for me. With this we could ask each questions, such as ‘have I got too much blusher on?’ and just enjoy the getting ready process, whilst jamming to some tunes of course!!

There might be some who will read this and not ‘get’ why being able to put on make-up is a big deal but duuuude, it is-to me it is-.  Being able to do something you couldn’t do before is a huge deal giving you such an empowering feeling-you know all thatdetermination and hard work has paid off!! Dig deep and shout your personal achievements loudly and proudly!!! You could start-if you wanted-by sharing in the comments below, what you are proud of yourself for?

Looking forward to celebrating you!!

All my love XX

makeup

Here’s to you! Here’s to me! Here’s to us!

Dear Reader,

A big congratulation to you for making and experiencing another day!! You, me and the rest of the world were put on this very planet for definite, unique and individualised reasons; some of us know why and soaks up all of what that path has to offer, some of us know why but refuse to believe the reasons for their existence, some of us do not why and carries the weight of the ‘puzzling’ world on their shoulders and  then there are some that do not know their reason for existence but-to hell with logic-they dance in the moment.  I’d like to think that currently I am living somewhere in the last category. I definitely don’t have a mapped out plan of ‘where I’d like to be in five years’ time’ nor do I want one because that would be freakishly scary and kind of boring; seriously where is the excitement in knowing what kind of job you’ll have or where you’ll be in the world or what relationships you’ll have- everything is always changing anyway! I wasn’t always and am not always the chillaxing-to-the-max kind of girl; I always needed or wanted a plan knowing which paths I should take and which ones I should dodge. When I first appeared not to have a plan I freaked out, thinking, panicking ‘what now?‘ But I was still alive, I had people I could talk it out with, there was opportunities- or I had opportunities if I was to open my mind-, an0d I had me!!

Within all this internal roaming and frantic search to mute the bellowing siren which was going off inside the mind, I forgot how far I’ve come, what I had and how just to be. If I’m honest I think most of us go through these moments, moments that interrupts and halts a carefree day.  But as soon as this white noise aims to overtake, starting to play with your imagination and predicting the future- a future that is a fable because it is not here yet-, stop the racing thoughts and reflect.  Reflect on you and what you have achieved. Think back to those times where you have proved can’t wrong and have gone out there and TOTALLY ACED IT! This is by no means easy and celebrating yourself could sound a bit alien to you- it did to me too- and a little egotistical- it did to me too-but you and I are the only ones who allow ourselves to pursue and accomplish our set goals so it only makes sense for us to give ourselves a well done. This could mean that you faced a day where you wished you could have skipped over- you got through it, you survived: high five; the wishes and visions you had-you are now putting into practice: high five; those who said “you can’t”-  you did: high five; the unhelpful thoughts that were planted in your mind- you have let go of: high five;  you know that no one in the world is like you AND because of that the world has been waiting for you: come on, let’s hug it out!!!

You may have read my posts before (a huge thank you for coming back!) and therefore might know that I have something called Cerebral Palsy (a condition affecting muscle coordination). So some of my achievements have been to do with overcoming the physical challenges CP faces me with, trying to strengthen my mobility so that I can be as independent as I can. More achievements relate to personal goals, being determined not to be thrown off by anyone or anything or even myself! This comes in the form of facing fears, fulfilling my passions and finding my own voice. These triumphs are reminders to keep calm when things are a bit blurry.

As I have said before, thinking about your own accomplishments is hard and it is very easy to deny yourself of your worth, saying “I got nothing.” But I bet you got an ocean of amazements inside of you!!  I bet I’m right! How small or big you think your accomplishments are does not determine its credibility or worthiness of celebration. It’s about YOU and what YOU have overcome! Anything that’s fills you with excitement, anything that makes you jump for joy, anything that makes you feel alive, matters!! I hope that as you read this, you have thought of things that you have overcome please hold on to them for now and for always.

All my love XX

Thriving Together

 

Dear Reader,

Up until now I have only disclosed about my disability once, earlier this year. Finding My Shoes was a way of saying yes I have cerebral palsy but I am a lot more than that. I am a lot more than the results you would find on Google if you were to type in ‘cerebral palsy.’ I would be waving my hands over here hoping you’d asked me directly about CP and my experience, instead of using a one-dimensional medium to assemble a picture; this picture would be highly inaccurate-no definitely inaccurate-, sorry to insult your wild imagination.
I am going to add a new element to From This Window, sharing you my experience of CP. I’m not quite sure if this whole new element will work, or whether it will work at all, but I am excited to see how this path will unfold. I hope that through writing about my journey with CP I will be more able to speak about my disability more comfortably and maybe through this new dimension, other people with CP or with other obstacles can relate and together we can thrive; I’m all for dancing on my own but isn’t it exciting, sometimes, when achievements are shared and built with others!! Who’s with me?!!

I have previously described to you that for me CP is like a lifelong teacher, so I will now share with you some tips and tricks that I have learnt and still learning along way!!!

Laughter, laughter and, yep, more laughter. People that know me will know I love to laugh and try to seek fun wherever I can. I think this innate quality is what has kept me level headed with CP. Therefore in a situation quite easily seem bleak, which would allow them moody clouds to roll in, I try and see a gap between CP and me. So when I rock up in my wheelchair and meet people for the first time they might act rather strange, by this I mean they might speak in slow motion and being quite patronising as if they I trying to feed me I brain cell that I need to chomp on. Then I reply: It is so funny to watch their faces as I speak, as if I have just ripped up their treasured tales that they whole-heartedly believed about society. I almost tell them “yep, I have seen enough of you tonsils,” but that would spoil the fun! On a serious note though, it is these moments ,when you feel that you are being prejudge, is when you need to whack up that fun dial in your mind and take whatever shred of light you can. This extends to making fun out of yourself: instances where CP does it thing and throws in a few wobbles as I walk, I see it as a unique style of ballet (but my toes remain completely intact).I am not saying that it is easy because sometimes it is very hard, especially the days when  you don’t feel as fabulous as you should; but please remember time will past and your time is to precious so don’t let anyone  or anything influence your state of mind- remove the root of that weed!!

Stop looking for excuses. We are the best at making excuses for ourselves- we did invent it after all!! We blame anything we can as to why we can’t do something and then we believe in that blame and think that it is real and so it becomes, as we think, a legitimate reason for why we can’t do something. I hold my hand up and say I have excused myself from situations because I believed in the obstacle I put  in the way; my speech is slightly impaired and used this to hide behind and asked who I knew well to speak on my behalf. But I wasn’t giving myself the chance to let others hear me, already thinking that I knew how and interaction would pan out: I would say something but they wouldn’t understand, then I would repeat what I said but they still wouldn’t know what I was saying, meanwhile my face would grow red with embarrassment. BUT this was my prejudgment. Slowly, with the encouragement of family and other people around me I grew my voice and realised that, on the whole, most people did understand me, in turn this increased me self-esteem. There are still time when people don’t understand words I say, but then I think how else I can phrase this to be understood. If that don’t work, I then ask my companion to repeat what I have said. There are still times when this excuse tries to creep in, but then there’s a saying “if you did it once you can do it again.” If that don’t talk to my excuse, I don’t know what will!!

Get creative! This tip follows from the previous. Having a disability means that sometime you have to take an alternative route to get to where you want to go-who wants to be a sheep anyway(not that I have anything against sheep)?! So, you knock down the walls of “I can’t,” step out of your comfort zone, move your sorry butt and make it happen!!  For me this means thinking of the resources that I have and using them to my advantage. I am doing this right now by writing to you. I am combining my experience of CP with my passion of writing and motivating others and moving forward to be more honest and open with myself and others; by starting with something that is more natural to me, i.e. writing thoughts down, it could help me in others areas life and how I deal with situations. So, moral of the tip: use what you got!

Never feel guilty! Okay big, scary, deep, I-can’t-believe-I-could-actually-write-that-down tip!!! This is something I am still learning and maybe will always be a continuing lesson. As a result of my CP, I need assistance from others for everyday tasks; this reliance on others at times leaves me with a deep sense of guilt, knowing that they are giving up their time for me. I know the people around might think these thoughts are completely absurd and might even be hurt, which is not my intention at all and heighten my guilt in turn. But instead of continuing on this helpless and hopeless path, I can channel this guilt into gratefulness and being thankful that there are people in my life who help me and allow me to continue to make the most out of living!! This was very hard to write, but important to write-write out your demons and change them into helpful elves!!

Just forget about!! Urmmm…okay this might strange, giving these words half a sneer, but seriously dude, drop the resistance and just forget about it once in a while!! Whatever your challenge is you deserve to take a break from it and let something else capture your full attention! Don’t you ever just enjoy the freeing feeling of just being in the moment? Well, I love it! It‘s in these times when I am most myself! Disability is not a definition of me nor should I let it; it’s something I happen to have, just like I happen to be a girl. So I will go out and enjoy, singing and dancing the night away, I will face fears and go on cable cars, squeezing my friend’s  hand in the process (for that I am very sorry), I will go and find nature hidden gems and admire something so much more greater and magnificent than ever imaginable and I will laugh because, Reader, life can be beautiful if you just let it and just be you, the fun-loving, inexcusable, creative, guilt-free, care-free you!!

These tips that I have learnt have helped me tremendously and keeps me moving forward. I hope these tips has also caused you something to think about; I would truly love to know what you think and maybe you have guidelines of you own you live by to help you, feel free to share this too!! Let’s thrive together!!

All my love XX