Seeing Yourself As Enough

Dear Reader,

Ever get that feeling that you’re not enough? That you’re not doing enough? That what you are right now and who you are is not enough? Well this is something that can honestly feel quite lonely and depletes one’s energy and when in such a mind-set….the hope of this turning round does not seem like a move that can be made. However it’s me who is writing this post and even though I can annoy the crap out of myself being a positive Polly and sometimes just wanting to see the volume of water that is in the glass in whatever damn way (without a psychological explanation being attached to this), it is true that this is not a feeling that is felt by a singular person- it is experienced by many.

It feels like I’ve gone off into the deep end, I didn’t mean to here but fear of not doing enough are thoughts that I have been experiencing of late. Back in May I shared on my social media that I had been experiencing pain as a result of my Cerebral Palsy, which meant I couldn’t do very much at all for a while, and for someone like me who always wants to be a busy bee this was kinda hard. Since then these aches have been on and off depending on how much I’ve been doing. It’s that knowing that I’m not doing, not continually moving forwards, which at these times are my more prominent thoughts, the insistent chatter of what I could be doing clogs up the ol’ mind. Somehow this has more of an importance than it did before. I guess it’s a classic case of when you can’t do something, you want to do things even more with the imagination running wild with ideas. Ohhh how the mind chatters!

Sitting there with all these thoughts was kind of like toying with someone else’s story-it wasn’t I who was living out that day, it was a character I created in my brain. A character with no flaws who navigated a flawless day-ironically, this whole idea is flawed! The thing is by participating in such creativity and building a picture of a person of who you think you should be kind of puts one into self-destruction mode, picking out parts of oneself that aren’t enough, that they should be more focussed- basically berating anything that makes one human-the mistakes, the getting things wrong, the going at a different pace to everyone else, the not living up to expectations people or even you had of yourself … the list is endless. All this obsession over what you think you don’t measure up to will only make you feel worse.

I do think now more than ever we need to be kind to ourselves as well as each other. This year has thrown everyone sideways in one way or another, yet we can find ways to tear ourselves down and tell ourselves that we should be doing more or that we’re not doing what we should be. There is no ‘right’ way to think, but if we just found a way not to be too harsh or expect too much of ourselves and be a bit more gentle maybe we would start to feel a little lighter in a world that already seems so heavy. I guess what I want to say is that it’s okay if you are not where you thought you would be, focus on where you are and the pathways that could lead from there. It goes without saying that everyone will experience peaks and trots and just because you find yourself at a low, up against a challenge, facing a flare up, it does not mean you can’t get back or that it will be like this forever. I am saying this to you as well as myself, do not let these not so great days define who you are.

There’s that saying ride the wave. Although this can seem like a fleeting statement, it actually does have some merit-stay with me here. Instead of fighting what you are experiencing and burying yourself down some dark rabbit hole, I started to realise, when I had to take a break from things that rather than focusing on whether or not I was measuring up to being enough or trying to justify to myself as to why I was not doing thing, I started think about how just resting and being more present could just help the future me: if I rest now, I’ll be able to do more later.

All my love XX

One Step at a Time

🌈Everything takes time. Focus this moment 🌈

I hope you find a little bit of magic in your Monday 😘✨💖

Illustration by @stacieswift

Image description: An illustration of rainbow is in the centre. With white writing underneath that says “ONE STEP AT A TIME” with a white line drawn below this sentence. The background is bright pink. This illustration is by @stacieswift

Stop Hiding!!

🌈 Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones🌈

There’s a saying never be afraid who you are. I for one am a huge advocate of this. There was a time when I would ask “ Can you not get my wheelchair in the photo?” But really what is there to hide? Why should I hide apart of myself? Why should I fear the behaviours of others?

Ignoring apart of myself will only lead to misery, to fixate on a unhealthy desire to be someone that I’m not destined to be and really who I don’t want to be. The thing is this hiding thing came really from a place of wanting rather the needing 🤦🏻‍♀️ and who honestly wants to hide?-unless you eat the last sweet in the packet and you feel all eyes glare at you 👀🙈

So for the last few years I have dropped this want to hide and have allowed my wheels to be seen …and they do also say give credit whet credit is due and my chariot really does need this after all where she have taken me!

Let us not be afraid of who we are, let’s try to acknowledge all parts of ourselves . If we just try and not let those naysayers pollute our perception and force us to believe that we “should” be a certain way. Would we really want to be around these people?

Show of them beautiful peacock feathers and don’t be afraid in doing this … and just a heads up make sure no one is around as you devour the last sweet 🙃🌈💜😘🙌🏻

[Image description: Rebecca is sitting in her wheelchair. Rebecca is smiling at the camera. Behind her is a grass area ]

Love Yourself

🌈✨🌈 Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones 🌈✨🌈 It’s important to just be who we are and not throw the light away from ourselves- embrace it!💖 I love the fact that no one has my wobbly walk ! And it’s not up for negotiation 🐒

What do you love about you? Feel free to share, if you want to of course! Let’s kick this week off with a bit of self loving💜🌈😘

Be Proud of Yourself

✨?✨ Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨?✨

Being proud of ones self is something I continually strive for! It used to be something I would run from and think of all the opposite things… very unhelpful! But now I am working on being proud of myself, it’s a very healthy quality to have!!

Who’s with me? Let’s kick off this week by finding things in ourselves we are proud of!???

Lovely illustration by @littlearthlings

Never Give Up

✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones?✨

This is a reminder from the brilliant @emilycoxhead that you ARE valued in the world. Never ever give up.???✨

Moving out of your comfort zone

✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones?✨

It’s always good to try things not in your comfort zone as you never know the outcome even if you think going know!

As part of my cerebral palsy my right hand is not as good in completing tasks. It becomes even more stiff and movements are then more involuntary. Because of this my left hand became my default hand to use.

For a time now I have been trying to use my right hand more. One of the ways that I trying to exercise my right hand is through painting ???

Never doubt you can’t improve because you CAN

Be A Leader

?✨?Happy Magic Monday My Fabulous Ones ?✨?

This is you reminder that no one has control over your life but you. You are the leader. You are director. You are the author. Do not let anyone else hold your pen ???

When The Heart Calls

?✨? Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ?✨?

This Monday allow yourself just to breathe and go with your heart. This quote is taken from my latest blog post ‘Pulling Up (Rainbow) Socks’ . It’s about doing whatever is right for you and not being afraid of not being a ‘go getter ‘ all the time. Lose yourself in something new or familiar just don’t fear it ???

Where would you like to wander to next?

Pulling Up Our (Rainbow) Socks!!

Dear Reader,
How is your summer going? Hard to believe we are more than half way through this sizzling season! I secretly love the start of the autumnal season-cooler mornings, crisp air, the feeling of tea warming up my bones and who could forget the coziness found in knitwear? Yep, I am obsessed with jumpers in the way a kid is with Christmas! However like always the thought that year is slipping can instill so much panic, a thought that for me and, I’m sure for many, is not warmly welcomed.

So many promises are made at the start of a new year, month, week, day that we will start and stick to a routine, a routine that will maybe make us fitter, more healthy, more productive, make us feel alive or the good old classic….will makes us feel like new women-don’t forget the all-important ding along with this! All well and good if someone can stick to this, I salute them and they have my complete admiration, but what about the rest of that has veered slightly of track and lost that tiny bit of motivation to fulfill ideas? These fantastic plans didn’t include the loss of peak motivation moments (perhaps because we were such motivated snobs that day that we looked the other way). These fantastic plans didn’t consider the days where we just weren’t feeling like being a go getter and stuff. These fantastic plans didn’t include days were we just wanted to lose ourselves in a hobby. These fantastic plans didn’t include days where we just wanted to binge on a series (do not judge or be ashamed of yourself for doing this, I did this one day last weekend- ‘Charmed’ is worthy for this material, just saying!-). These fantastic plans didn’t plan for them days that let’s be honest, we felt a bit shitty.
Somewhere in the back of our mind we are telling ourselves just to pull up our socks and man up! If it was that simple I’m sure everyone would be on top of their A-game all of the time. But it’s not always this simple. Well, I would like to think that there was an alternative. That instead of having a tunnel vision, one could take more of a scenic view. That we can go at our own rate. That we can abolish all those tight deadlines. That we can pull up our own socks, in our own way and at our own time. They should be no comparison, no berating ourselves, no being ashamed. Know that YOU CAN get back into rhythm, but give yourself the permission to wander and you may come to find that you’ll come back twice as strong, rather than resisting it.

In my last blog post Tell Your Truth, I told you about the little irritation I have in regards to my slowness to complete things due to Cerebral Palsy. This can be little more frustrating on the days where my mojo has gone for a little wander! Those plans that were intended for that day are left unticked and yep, my mojo becomes ever distant! Fighting to get back there fast won’t help.

Rather than making this big plans, normally created on day where we can be described as pocket rockets, we need to stop this motivational snobbery and implement a routine that leaves room for times that we are not quite on best form. This way we may not also burn out, find ourselves at the edge of a rabbit hole and feel overwhelmed. We also may find ourselves to be more further along than first thought!

Remember to keep on pulling up your socks in your own way!!
All my love XX`