Seeing Yourself As Enough

Dear Reader,

Ever get that feeling that you’re not enough? That you’re not doing enough? That what you are right now and who you are is not enough? Well this is something that can honestly feel quite lonely and depletes one’s energy and when in such a mind-set….the hope of this turning round does not seem like a move that can be made. However it’s me who is writing this post and even though I can annoy the crap out of myself being a positive Polly and sometimes just wanting to see the volume of water that is in the glass in whatever damn way (without a psychological explanation being attached to this), it is true that this is not a feeling that is felt by a singular person- it is experienced by many.

It feels like I’ve gone off into the deep end, I didn’t mean to here but fear of not doing enough are thoughts that I have been experiencing of late. Back in May I shared on my social media that I had been experiencing pain as a result of my Cerebral Palsy, which meant I couldn’t do very much at all for a while, and for someone like me who always wants to be a busy bee this was kinda hard. Since then these aches have been on and off depending on how much I’ve been doing. It’s that knowing that I’m not doing, not continually moving forwards, which at these times are my more prominent thoughts, the insistent chatter of what I could be doing clogs up the ol’ mind. Somehow this has more of an importance than it did before. I guess it’s a classic case of when you can’t do something, you want to do things even more with the imagination running wild with ideas. Ohhh how the mind chatters!

Sitting there with all these thoughts was kind of like toying with someone else’s story-it wasn’t I who was living out that day, it was a character I created in my brain. A character with no flaws who navigated a flawless day-ironically, this whole idea is flawed! The thing is by participating in such creativity and building a picture of a person of who you think you should be kind of puts one into self-destruction mode, picking out parts of oneself that aren’t enough, that they should be more focussed- basically berating anything that makes one human-the mistakes, the getting things wrong, the going at a different pace to everyone else, the not living up to expectations people or even you had of yourself … the list is endless. All this obsession over what you think you don’t measure up to will only make you feel worse.

I do think now more than ever we need to be kind to ourselves as well as each other. This year has thrown everyone sideways in one way or another, yet we can find ways to tear ourselves down and tell ourselves that we should be doing more or that we’re not doing what we should be. There is no ‘right’ way to think, but if we just found a way not to be too harsh or expect too much of ourselves and be a bit more gentle maybe we would start to feel a little lighter in a world that already seems so heavy. I guess what I want to say is that it’s okay if you are not where you thought you would be, focus on where you are and the pathways that could lead from there. It goes without saying that everyone will experience peaks and trots and just because you find yourself at a low, up against a challenge, facing a flare up, it does not mean you can’t get back or that it will be like this forever. I am saying this to you as well as myself, do not let these not so great days define who you are.

There’s that saying ride the wave. Although this can seem like a fleeting statement, it actually does have some merit-stay with me here. Instead of fighting what you are experiencing and burying yourself down some dark rabbit hole, I started to realise, when I had to take a break from things that rather than focusing on whether or not I was measuring up to being enough or trying to justify to myself as to why I was not doing thing, I started think about how just resting and being more present could just help the future me: if I rest now, I’ll be able to do more later.

All my love XX

Breathe Peace and Love

?✨?Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones?✨?
Yep I am coming at you with more daisy goodness this Monday (When I previously told you that they were my favourite flower I wasn’t lying!! I think I may have under prepared you for this daisy craziness!?) To me they truly represent strength and resilience and are a reminder that we CAN blossom, which is always a great ‘pick-me-up.’ AND what is even better is literally walking in the daises (around not on them kiddos?) with peace and love- my new fav ever, ever shoes!! This is also a great remembrance to live, breathe and share peace and love, something that will always ALWAYS be fashionable!!!

The Mystery Blogger Award Nomination

Dear Reader,

I got the most lovely gesture from fellow blogger, With Being Alive, nominating me for The Mysterty Blogger Award-thank you sooo much for this. With Being Alive is a blog with inspiring words about living beyond Mental illness and not letting it being the definition of who she is! In other words, in my language- a fabulous human!!! Her words are so honest and because of this, she allows her readers to deeply connect with her posts, I know I have!! You can check out her blog here!

So, what is the Mystery Blogger Award?

Well the creator of this award, Okoto Enigma, says “It’s an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, a1nd they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.”

The rules are:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  • Share a link to your best post(s).

My questions from With Being Alive were:

What is your favourite song and why?

Gosh, that’s a hard question because there is sooo many!! But at the moment I am really into anything by Chic!! The classic are the best!! They have such feel good songs to make Everybody Dance ; )!!!

How has your blogging changed since you first began?

Blogging has changed me in so many way! When I first started blogging it  was just something to do, writing about the world around me with a glass half full attitude. Months and months down the line a started to be a little more open and honest, sharing a little about me and my disability.  Through writing about this it made me think about disability in different ways, motivating others not to be defined by a label. So blogging has made me more open and my passion for writing has got stronger. This sounds cliché but writing has truly made a difference to my life!!

Where is your most favourite place?

Last year my Sister and I went to Greace. We spend most of our time on the beach, sitting on the shore allowing the sea to take the weight of our legs! It was that moment where I felt most alive looking across the endless blue sea and in complete peace!! Every time life seems to get a bit manic I go back to that place in my mind. And that is my favorite place!

If there was a movie about you, who would you want to play your character?

Ohh nice question! The one and only Julia Roberts – She is just an amazing actress

What is your favourite word and why?

My favourite would is equality because it means fairness and that how I think the world should function-How beautiful would the world be if it did?!

Three things about me:

  1. I love penguins!!! I have not one, not two, but three penguin bears, three sets of penguin pyjamas, a duvet with a mamma, papa and baby penguin on it, penguin gloves and to confirm my penguin obsession my sister recently got me a mug with the words “Crazy Penguin Lady.” But how can you not adore their little walk?!!
  2. My favourite quote is by Hafiz and it goes: “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.”
  3. This is a weird one, but if I was an animal I would be a bird- I could go anywhere I liked, when I liked (listening to Everybody Dance 😉 )!!

According to WordPress, my best blog post was Mermaid and I. This was also my favourite post to write!

My Mystery Award Nominations are:

My question are:

  1. What do you like most about blogging?
  2. Who or what motivates you?
  3. If you had a super power, what would it be?
  4. Music or books(including audio books)? Which one could you live without? You have to pick one.
  5. What would is your golden rule for life?

 

I am really looking forward to reading your answers! Please do not feel pressuried to respond as I know this is not everyone’s type of thing! Thank you so much again to With Being Alive for your nomination, I really enjoyed doing this.

 

All my love XX

A Christmas Wish 

Hello Reader,

The Christmas holiday is here and I am very much looking forward to. I hope you are too!!! I get a little more excited every year, I’m sure!!! The reason why I enjoy this season so much is that it is one of the few times,  if not only time, where the noise of the outside life grows quite, enabling one to be fully present for a while.

Christmas has the ability to play different cords of the heart. Sometimes the tune echos love and a sense of elation, allowing one to experience the much longed for time with loved ones and create memories to cherish. But at other times, the Christmas melody unveils a melancholic mood with the vibrant Christmas lights perceived as dim. The latter description of the Christmas sounds connotes the internal suffering one may experience, in a time where there is an expectation to “Have a happy Christmas.”

Over the last few days, and perhaps as I write, people are frantically trying to finish getting their essentials, striving to fulfill an idea of perfection, that is simply non-exsitent. Meanwhile, the true sense of Christmas, having goodwill towards others, is forgotten. Some people this Christmas might be alone or away from loved ones, some people could be sick with the day being seen as another battle to fight an illness that they wish they could triumph and be able to experience Christmas day only as Christmas day. Then there are others who do not have shelter, who are wrongly prejudged by passers-by, who yearn to have someone to exchange Christmas wishes with. If you took a moment to be still and think of those who are less fortunate than you, what would you regard as important? What you refrain from fretting over?  What would replace this panic?

It is important to be thankful for all we have and think about the less privileged. This Christmas the simple gesture to send a wish that everyone will be able to seek comfort and happiness could be what is needed to for someone to feel the sweet sound of Christmas .

Thank you so much for reading this, dear reader, I wish your Christmas brings you love and tranquility.

All my love XX