?✨ Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨?
Don’t forget to embrace ALL of you. We cannot be a go getter all of the time and that what make us human!! We have hearts. We feel stuff. We can show others how to be strong be being open rather than buckling under pressure. I know I’m not good at this, I don’t think many are, but being reminded that we also have a delicate side of ourselves allows us to breakdown our wall a little. As @bymariandrew demonstrates these aspects gives us strength ??
✨Happy Magic Monday my Fabulous Ones ✨
Always live the funnest life you can?
As a child the tremor in my hand was a little more severe, the things I could do was very limited. Things like colouring connotes fun and enjoyment for most kids, something which comes with little judgement. My colouring was considered “messy” and “too far out the lines” by teachers and always gave me the option to just pick the colours and the rest someone else would do.
When adult colouring books came out a few years ago it did really spark an interest as I thought it would just rack up them thoughts. But like a lot of things -it worth a second shot! And now it’s one of the most relaxing hobbies ? regain the fun in what you lost or in something new or …. just have fun ???
Dear Reader,
Let me start of by saying how sorry I am for being off the blogging radar this month. Writing to you is something I, wholeheartedly, hold dear, being able to write to you is refreshing, knowing that I will hopefully be understood by and connect with you due to the platform you are meeting me and I am meeting you on; both having a passion for word and a love to explore thoughts and feelings.
BUT this does not explain my silence on From This Window this month, nor would any excuse. But what I can say is that you have not been forgotten, I promise you that. While I haven’t been sharing with you thoughts, I have been planning posts for the coming weeks, which I am very excited to share with you. I think at times we all need space to grow and sometimes that may mean taking a step back, in order to seek clarity of your direction. I guess my reason for writing this post is to say not to lose sight and hope of your passions, keep it close and to remember it is a part of who you are- exercise that passion like it’s a muscle, in any way that feels right for you!!
I won’t be too far away- doing happy dance of excitement to write to you again already!! Wishing you had a wonderful October and enjoying autumn.
Remember, my fabulous one, to live well and be happy!!
All my love XX
Dear Reader,
A big congratulation to you for making and experiencing another day!! You, me and the rest of the world were put on this very planet for definite, unique and individualised reasons; some of us know why and soaks up all of what that path has to offer, some of us know why but refuse to believe the reasons for their existence, some of us do not why and carries the weight of the ‘puzzling’ world on their shoulders and then there are some that do not know their reason for existence but-to hell with logic-they dance in the moment. I’d like to think that currently I am living somewhere in the last category. I definitely don’t have a mapped out plan of ‘where I’d like to be in five years’ time’ nor do I want one because that would be freakishly scary and kind of boring; seriously where is the excitement in knowing what kind of job you’ll have or where you’ll be in the world or what relationships you’ll have- everything is always changing anyway! I wasn’t always and am not always the chillaxing-to-the-max kind of girl; I always needed or wanted a plan knowing which paths I should take and which ones I should dodge. When I first appeared not to have a plan I freaked out, thinking, panicking ‘what now?‘ But I was still alive, I had people I could talk it out with, there was opportunities- or I had opportunities if I was to open my mind-, an0d I had me!!
Within all this internal roaming and frantic search to mute the bellowing siren which was going off inside the mind, I forgot how far I’ve come, what I had and how just to be. If I’m honest I think most of us go through these moments, moments that interrupts and halts a carefree day. But as soon as this white noise aims to overtake, starting to play with your imagination and predicting the future- a future that is a fable because it is not here yet-, stop the racing thoughts and reflect. Reflect on you and what you have achieved. Think back to those times where you have proved can’t wrong and have gone out there and TOTALLY ACED IT! This is by no means easy and celebrating yourself could sound a bit alien to you- it did to me too- and a little egotistical- it did to me too-but you and I are the only ones who allow ourselves to pursue and accomplish our set goals so it only makes sense for us to give ourselves a well done. This could mean that you faced a day where you wished you could have skipped over- you got through it, you survived: high five; the wishes and visions you had-you are now putting into practice: high five; those who said “you can’t”- you did: high five; the unhelpful thoughts that were planted in your mind- you have let go of: high five; you know that no one in the world is like you AND because of that the world has been waiting for you: come on, let’s hug it out!!!
You may have read my posts before (a huge thank you for coming back!) and therefore might know that I have something called Cerebral Palsy (a condition affecting muscle coordination). So some of my achievements have been to do with overcoming the physical challenges CP faces me with, trying to strengthen my mobility so that I can be as independent as I can. More achievements relate to personal goals, being determined not to be thrown off by anyone or anything or even myself! This comes in the form of facing fears, fulfilling my passions and finding my own voice. These triumphs are reminders to keep calm when things are a bit blurry.
As I have said before, thinking about your own accomplishments is hard and it is very easy to deny yourself of your worth, saying “I got nothing.” But I bet you got an ocean of amazements inside of you!! I bet I’m right! How small or big you think your accomplishments are does not determine its credibility or worthiness of celebration. It’s about YOU and what YOU have overcome! Anything that’s fills you with excitement, anything that makes you jump for joy, anything that makes you feel alive, matters!! I hope that as you read this, you have thought of things that you have overcome please hold on to them for now and for always.
All my love XX
Dear Reader,
Up until now I have only disclosed about my disability once, earlier this year. Finding My Shoes was a way of saying yes I have cerebral palsy but I am a lot more than that. I am a lot more than the results you would find on Google if you were to type in ‘cerebral palsy.’ I would be waving my hands over here hoping you’d asked me directly about CP and my experience, instead of using a one-dimensional medium to assemble a picture; this picture would be highly inaccurate-no definitely inaccurate-, sorry to insult your wild imagination.
I am going to add a new element to From This Window, sharing you my experience of CP. I’m not quite sure if this whole new element will work, or whether it will work at all, but I am excited to see how this path will unfold. I hope that through writing about my journey with CP I will be more able to speak about my disability more comfortably and maybe through this new dimension, other people with CP or with other obstacles can relate and together we can thrive; I’m all for dancing on my own but isn’t it exciting, sometimes, when achievements are shared and built with others!! Who’s with me?!!
I have previously described to you that for me CP is like a lifelong teacher, so I will now share with you some tips and tricks that I have learnt and still learning along way!!!
Laughter, laughter and, yep, more laughter. People that know me will know I love to laugh and try to seek fun wherever I can. I think this innate quality is what has kept me level headed with CP. Therefore in a situation quite easily seem bleak, which would allow them moody clouds to roll in, I try and see a gap between CP and me. So when I rock up in my wheelchair and meet people for the first time they might act rather strange, by this I mean they might speak in slow motion and being quite patronising as if they I trying to feed me I brain cell that I need to chomp on. Then I reply: It is so funny to watch their faces as I speak, as if I have just ripped up their treasured tales that they whole-heartedly believed about society. I almost tell them “yep, I have seen enough of you tonsils,” but that would spoil the fun! On a serious note though, it is these moments ,when you feel that you are being prejudge, is when you need to whack up that fun dial in your mind and take whatever shred of light you can. This extends to making fun out of yourself: instances where CP does it thing and throws in a few wobbles as I walk, I see it as a unique style of ballet (but my toes remain completely intact).I am not saying that it is easy because sometimes it is very hard, especially the days when you don’t feel as fabulous as you should; but please remember time will past and your time is to precious so don’t let anyone or anything influence your state of mind- remove the root of that weed!!
Stop looking for excuses. We are the best at making excuses for ourselves- we did invent it after all!! We blame anything we can as to why we can’t do something and then we believe in that blame and think that it is real and so it becomes, as we think, a legitimate reason for why we can’t do something. I hold my hand up and say I have excused myself from situations because I believed in the obstacle I put in the way; my speech is slightly impaired and used this to hide behind and asked who I knew well to speak on my behalf. But I wasn’t giving myself the chance to let others hear me, already thinking that I knew how and interaction would pan out: I would say something but they wouldn’t understand, then I would repeat what I said but they still wouldn’t know what I was saying, meanwhile my face would grow red with embarrassment. BUT this was my prejudgment. Slowly, with the encouragement of family and other people around me I grew my voice and realised that, on the whole, most people did understand me, in turn this increased me self-esteem. There are still time when people don’t understand words I say, but then I think how else I can phrase this to be understood. If that don’t work, I then ask my companion to repeat what I have said. There are still times when this excuse tries to creep in, but then there’s a saying “if you did it once you can do it again.” If that don’t talk to my excuse, I don’t know what will!!
Get creative! This tip follows from the previous. Having a disability means that sometime you have to take an alternative route to get to where you want to go-who wants to be a sheep anyway(not that I have anything against sheep)?! So, you knock down the walls of “I can’t,” step out of your comfort zone, move your sorry butt and make it happen!! For me this means thinking of the resources that I have and using them to my advantage. I am doing this right now by writing to you. I am combining my experience of CP with my passion of writing and motivating others and moving forward to be more honest and open with myself and others; by starting with something that is more natural to me, i.e. writing thoughts down, it could help me in others areas life and how I deal with situations. So, moral of the tip: use what you got!
Never feel guilty! Okay big, scary, deep, I-can’t-believe-I-could-actually-write-that-down tip!!! This is something I am still learning and maybe will always be a continuing lesson. As a result of my CP, I need assistance from others for everyday tasks; this reliance on others at times leaves me with a deep sense of guilt, knowing that they are giving up their time for me. I know the people around might think these thoughts are completely absurd and might even be hurt, which is not my intention at all and heighten my guilt in turn. But instead of continuing on this helpless and hopeless path, I can channel this guilt into gratefulness and being thankful that there are people in my life who help me and allow me to continue to make the most out of living!! This was very hard to write, but important to write-write out your demons and change them into helpful elves!!
Just forget about!! Urmmm…okay this might strange, giving these words half a sneer, but seriously dude, drop the resistance and just forget about it once in a while!! Whatever your challenge is you deserve to take a break from it and let something else capture your full attention! Don’t you ever just enjoy the freeing feeling of just being in the moment? Well, I love it! It‘s in these times when I am most myself! Disability is not a definition of me nor should I let it; it’s something I happen to have, just like I happen to be a girl. So I will go out and enjoy, singing and dancing the night away, I will face fears and go on cable cars, squeezing my friend’s hand in the process (for that I am very sorry), I will go and find nature hidden gems and admire something so much more greater and magnificent than ever imaginable and I will laugh because, Reader, life can be beautiful if you just let it and just be you, the fun-loving, inexcusable, creative, guilt-free, care-free you!!
These tips that I have learnt have helped me tremendously and keeps me moving forward. I hope these tips has also caused you something to think about; I would truly love to know what you think and maybe you have guidelines of you own you live by to help you, feel free to share this too!! Let’s thrive together!!
All my love XX
Dear Reader,
On February 15th 2016, exactly one year ago today, I first shared with you a view From This Window. Back then I did not quite know how my words or thoughts would be or would not be, received, but I knew I wanted this blog to promote motivation and hope as well as creating a space to communicate my reflections and ideas about this weird and wonderful world!!
From This Window is a take on the saying “Eyes are the windows to the soul,” what I write, what I share with you and what you read, is how I think of and feel the world. Also, and very crucially important From This Window means that what I express to you are my views. I am not here to tell you “This is THE and only way,” you might completely disagree with what you read and that is okay, we all have our own path- I just like sharing some of my soil!!
However I cannot take all of the credit for the platform of which I share my passion of writing; just over a year ago my very dear friend proposed to me the idea of creating a space to share my words, an idea which at first startled me and, like any big idea, formed an array of thoughts that left no singular thought to breathe and grow. Could I present my imagery and view point accurately enough? Would my words be of interest? In this moment of fluster I left out two vital questions, two questions that should be at the forefront of any venture, creatively or otherwise, which are what is important to me? and what point do I want to make? A few days after this conversation and a lot of mulling over these thoughts, I saw the incredibly beautiful film The Danish Girl. I then had an ‘a-ha’ moment. I would write about The Danish Girl focusing on loss, a theme very prominent in the film and a subject which I could also identify with. The next thing was Loss and The Danish Girl was created! Through writing to you, my passion for writing has deepened even more. I have been able to express to you itching thoughts, and hope that at least some of what I tell you will provoke thought within you. The idea of sharing more personal experiences with you was something I was slightly more apprehensive over. I could to the most detailed commentary on the world around me but writing about myself…well I just counted how many times the cursor flashed!! But through conversations and my cherished sister positive affirmation “Just be you,” I was able to change my perspective of “I” and reveal to you things from behind this window. Since Finding My Shoes, the first post in which I did this, I find myself refreshingly comfortable in sharing with you thoughts from a more personal stance and maybe my hope for this blog to offer motivation will have more of an ability to be absorbed!!
Thank you for all your time in reading my entries over the past year and for your much appreciated feedback. If this is your first read on From This Window, thank you also for your time, I hope you will come back and visit to read more. The aim of my second year of blogging is to write to you much more and to carry on trying to do what I believe to be truly important in life and motivate others!
Here’s to the first year of From This Window!! (The cake was delicious- yes, I know another week that Sugar Sunday has been abandoned! 😉 )
All my love XX
