Keep Your Passion Alive!!!

Dear Reader,

Let me start of by saying how sorry I am for being off the blogging radar this month. Writing to you is something I, wholeheartedly, hold dear, being able to write to you is refreshing, knowing that I will hopefully be understood by and connect  with you due to the platform you are meeting me and I am meeting you on; both having a passion for word and a love to explore thoughts and feelings.

BUT this does not explain my silence on From This Window this month, nor would any excuse. But what I can say is that you have not been forgotten, I promise you that. While I haven’t been sharing with you thoughts, I have been planning posts for the coming weeks, which I am very excited to share with you. I think at times we all need space to grow and sometimes that may mean taking a step back, in order to seek clarity of your direction. I guess my reason for writing this post is to say not to lose sight and hope of your passions, keep it close and to remember it is a part of who you are- exercise that passion like it’s a muscle, in any way that feels right for you!!

I won’t be too far away- doing happy dance of excitement to write to you again already!! Wishing you had a wonderful October and enjoying autumn.

Remember, my fabulous one, to live well and be happy!!

All my love XX

Autumn Sunshine

Photos in this post were taken by my beautiful sister, she can be found @thewanderingmermaid_xox

Dear Reader,

This time of year, many of us experience the all to common and perhaps overly thought ‘summer blues’; long hazy days are shortening, day trips in the great outdoors are more depended on ‘weather permitting’ and if we do decide to go we make sure we have an umbrella or a coat or something warm or anything we think we might need ‘just in case.’ We think the best and brightness days of the year are mostly behind us, wishing for summer to come back sooner than scheduled!!

But can I let you into a secret?? As well as summer I also love autumn! There is so much excitement in a new season; different things to do, different pace of life (maybe you have exciting things coming or may it time for you to have a little peaceful recline), different atmosphere. More noticeably nature shows us how change can be so very wonderful; the colour of the leafs turning from vibrant green to golden brown and shades of purple, the fresher, the fresher air making you feel more revitalised, the crunchy sound as you walk on the many fallen leafs on the footpath and you being an expectant witness of an elegantly falling leaf as it finds its place on the ground. The latter imagery of autumn may bring about an air of sadness and of loss with the idea of things ending, but, like everything, there is ALWAYS a flip side; falling leaves demonstrate the need for something new.

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The above quote beautifully captures a definition of autumn and connote that it does need to be so melancholic: nature, like humans, is a process of continual growth, shedding those things which do not serve this growth in order for more flourishing acts to take place-for nature this means developing its hypnotising colours ready to display them in spring and for humans this means developing in our strengths so that we can radiate our vibrancy. So autumn acts, metaphorically, as a backdrop for personal growth. Identifing the things you need to let go of is diffcult, thinking those are the very things that will keep you safe but actually they are keeping you captive. What is it you want to develop? What is it you need to let go off in order for this growth to take place? The next time you take an autumn walk and see leaves fluttering in the air think of the things you want to let go of and imagine they were the very leaf that passed you by. Breathe and let go. Enjoy the autumnal landscape and all the beauty it has to offer!! Redefine YOUR autumn!!

All my love XX

Here’s to you! Here’s to me! Here’s to us!

Dear Reader,

A big congratulation to you for making and experiencing another day!! You, me and the rest of the world were put on this very planet for definite, unique and individualised reasons; some of us know why and soaks up all of what that path has to offer, some of us know why but refuse to believe the reasons for their existence, some of us do not why and carries the weight of the ‘puzzling’ world on their shoulders and  then there are some that do not know their reason for existence but-to hell with logic-they dance in the moment.  I’d like to think that currently I am living somewhere in the last category. I definitely don’t have a mapped out plan of ‘where I’d like to be in five years’ time’ nor do I want one because that would be freakishly scary and kind of boring; seriously where is the excitement in knowing what kind of job you’ll have or where you’ll be in the world or what relationships you’ll have- everything is always changing anyway! I wasn’t always and am not always the chillaxing-to-the-max kind of girl; I always needed or wanted a plan knowing which paths I should take and which ones I should dodge. When I first appeared not to have a plan I freaked out, thinking, panicking ‘what now?‘ But I was still alive, I had people I could talk it out with, there was opportunities- or I had opportunities if I was to open my mind-, an0d I had me!!

Within all this internal roaming and frantic search to mute the bellowing siren which was going off inside the mind, I forgot how far I’ve come, what I had and how just to be. If I’m honest I think most of us go through these moments, moments that interrupts and halts a carefree day.  But as soon as this white noise aims to overtake, starting to play with your imagination and predicting the future- a future that is a fable because it is not here yet-, stop the racing thoughts and reflect.  Reflect on you and what you have achieved. Think back to those times where you have proved can’t wrong and have gone out there and TOTALLY ACED IT! This is by no means easy and celebrating yourself could sound a bit alien to you- it did to me too- and a little egotistical- it did to me too-but you and I are the only ones who allow ourselves to pursue and accomplish our set goals so it only makes sense for us to give ourselves a well done. This could mean that you faced a day where you wished you could have skipped over- you got through it, you survived: high five; the wishes and visions you had-you are now putting into practice: high five; those who said “you can’t”-  you did: high five; the unhelpful thoughts that were planted in your mind- you have let go of: high five;  you know that no one in the world is like you AND because of that the world has been waiting for you: come on, let’s hug it out!!!

You may have read my posts before (a huge thank you for coming back!) and therefore might know that I have something called Cerebral Palsy (a condition affecting muscle coordination). So some of my achievements have been to do with overcoming the physical challenges CP faces me with, trying to strengthen my mobility so that I can be as independent as I can. More achievements relate to personal goals, being determined not to be thrown off by anyone or anything or even myself! This comes in the form of facing fears, fulfilling my passions and finding my own voice. These triumphs are reminders to keep calm when things are a bit blurry.

As I have said before, thinking about your own accomplishments is hard and it is very easy to deny yourself of your worth, saying “I got nothing.” But I bet you got an ocean of amazements inside of you!!  I bet I’m right! How small or big you think your accomplishments are does not determine its credibility or worthiness of celebration. It’s about YOU and what YOU have overcome! Anything that’s fills you with excitement, anything that makes you jump for joy, anything that makes you feel alive, matters!! I hope that as you read this, you have thought of things that you have overcome please hold on to them for now and for always.

All my love XX

Midnight Whispers

Dear Reader,

Lights out.

Duvet draped over my body. My feet are cold, gently rubbing against each other to seek warmth. This motion slowly breaks down and stops. My right foot is slightly in front of the left, my right leg slightly bent. My legs begin to feel weightless, as the sink into the bedsheets. This feeling travels up my body and grows ever more floppy, retreating from concentrated movements throughout the day. My neck feels light. The soft pillow cups my left cheek as my head tries to take refuge in its comfort. I listen to the growing silence. My eyes grow heavy, and I begin to drift into the darkness of the night

Then. My door greets a familiar knock. It the sound of the night’s sinister friend. They charge in and stir the quiet mind, my eyes awake. I know and I do not know this unwelcome creature. I know their manner. I know their boldness. I know the darkened tone of their dialogue. I know their insistent beg for attention. I know their convincing ways and their ability to enchant others into their manipulative thinking. I know their ability to instil fear in others and their excitement when the see others’ mind being defeated by their dread. I know their quick disappearance when they have done their work for the night, leaving their company filled with anguish. But I do not know why they have knocked on my door-do they have no friend? I do not know why they have picked this small hour to rock up. I do not know why they are filled with such misery and why they wish to burden me with this- I was perfectly at peace with the night. I do not know why they revel in pushing someone else’s panic buttons. I do not know why they have gone out of their way to highlight and magnify the unsolved. I do not know why they then like to leave when they have my undivided attention.

This nocturnal creature places themselves neatly on the edge of my pillow and prepares to give tonight’s sermon, calculating how to uproot the foundations I build to keep them at a distance. They then start.

“You thought you got away tonight. You thought you and the night were harmonious. You thought the night would allow you to drift to your sweet dream. You stupidly thought that finally you and the night were friends. Well, may I remind you that the night has allowed me to come. You have allowed me to come. I have been watching you from afar today…. I am here to tell you of the things you did wrong and keep doing wrong.”

I turn onto my right side. Silence resumes.  I pull the duvet and tuck it underneath my chin. My eyes start to feel heavy once more. The relentless creature continues; their voice grows louder.

“I am still here, just because you have turned you back on me does not mean I turn will my back on you. You have been careless and carefree. Too careless and carefree. Today you have ignored your weaknesses and stopped them from keeping you safe, I wouldn’t like to say what this has meant. But because- I am your friend, I will tell you and because I want what best for you, I will tell you. Today you thought strength was your friend and thought they showed you a good time. They showed you a glimmer of what they are and what you could be. You played well for a while but the pretence- it showed. You cannot be that because that is not you and you are not that. Eventually, they will find out and they will leave. And not only them but the people around you, they will see who you are and what you are not and will leave too. Although you won’t be left completely on your own, I will always be here-just listen. I am here to keep you safe; to keep you from self-destruct.

I take out my left hand from underneath the duvet and clinch the duvet close to my chest. I ruminate: “Who was I today?” “What was I today” “That was not me” “What must I have looked like?” I continue to wander to the corners of my mind I would rather leave undusted, but this cruel, twisted creature has lead me into their safety and, on the contrary, my weakness “maybe they will help” I think.

“Ah I am glad you have joined me- I knew you would,” they say with delight. “Today has been a dream tomorrow you will face your reality, your harsh reality. The reality you have created. The reality you don’t want. But because strength is your foe and fear is your friend, you will keep sitting on a ride unknown and retreat from moving. This is correct for you, you are the perfect spectator and one with great imagination- just let that be you.”

Their piercing words, their harsh tone and their sense of rescue in their voice characterises them as some kind of omniscient creature, who is here to direct me. However instead of shining me into the light, this creature has leaded me into a darkened wood, leaving no signs where to place my steps. These dreaded thoughts that I have met up with again seem to soar, just like those towering, giant trees in the wood. I grow wet with sweat and feel my racing heart- I have fell into the menacing creature’s trap once more; each time finding a more darker corner, leaving the mind paralysed in thought. I hunt for their refuge. They have turned their back.

My restless mind surrenders; my eyes fall shut.

All my love XX

Big From Small Ways

Hello Readers,

I know it’s been quite some time since I last wrote to you, and for that I am sorry. I managed to, somehow find myself lost in my thoughts, as people do from time to time, and somewhat lost focus of what I was writing; when that happens, how can one then inspire others?

Words are not just words. Words lead to the arrival of emotions, the trigger of thoughts and the onset of behaviours. Even though words have global definitions, I believe words are also individually defined by the very people that speak them. Every one of us feels, thinks, visualises and expresses words in different ways. Therefore it is stunning when one can speak such words that they do not truly mean! How can one separate their feelings from their speech? Do they visually see words and feel what they could imply?  Or do they perceive words as simply a collection of letters that do not encompass any depth? In order to write effectively, one should write through thoughts, not just to fill a blank space that affords writing. From one tiny word, one’s perception of what they are reading or writing about can change in a flash. One may not consider how a word can have such significance, being ignorant to the fact that small ‘things’ hold much power, perhaps greater power, than the entities that create such noise yet holds little substance; the smallest ‘things’, become the biggest and are no longer just ‘things’ anymore. So words would no longer be words. Words would be thoughts. Words would be feelings. Words would lead to actions.

Small ‘things’ are not just found in words, but in daily life; a person’s smile to make your day  brighter, a thoughtful gesture that someone else made to alleviate some the weight you struggled to carry today or maybe a magical moment in nature happened while you were in its environment. However as you were running late, had a careless attitude today or were still thinking over an argument you had- you later forgot, you  did not return that kind smile of the person who you passed on the street that you now wished you emulated; you snapped and disapproved of your work colleague’s help that you now yearned for and wished you showed your appreciation; you dashed past the trees that you now longed to meander by and look up and watch the miraculous autumnal coloured leaves fall so elegantly and quietly to the ground. We often lose sight of the things that brings kindness, joy and a sense of weightlessness to our lives, which would perhaps a shift our focus from our internal world.

Go back over your day: do you now think ‘I should have’? Did you miss an opportunity to experience someone’s kindness? Did you ignore a helpful suggestion? Were you ‘too busy’ to be a part of was a beautiful scene? When you wake up tomorrow, what will you do differently? Is there something small you could do for another? Sometimes to be brave doesn’t mean to do something completely extreme, but simply to go a little outside of your comfort zone. You could be the reason why another person smiles. So stop living inside yourself!

All my love XX

Authority and Me Before You

Hello Readers,

Recently, I have watched the incredibly emotional film Me Before You. This film open minds, bends stiff ideas and leaves you with one (or lots of) tears. I believe sharing my thoughts on this particular film is important to express. Like a post I have written before, regarding a film, I will write about Me Before You in relation to a theme that it so elegantly illustrated, and that is authority. Authority, in this film, shows that you can be the master of your own destination, if you have a little believe. This was demonstrated by both characters that I wilI write about. I would like for you to read this with an open mind and to remember nothing is ever ‘black and white.’ Feel free to comment any thoughts you may have on this!!

So much, if not all, of society is controlled restricted and overruled by a superior force, in one way or another. This could be in the form of the government, teachers/people we seek advice from or your parents. Sometimes the sense of authority can make you feel ‘safe’, providing you with assurance that your life choices are accepted agreed and Okayed by a figure that you admire. With reassurance given it motivates you, consciously or subconsciously, to succeed even more in the decisions that you make. This sense of security that comes with authority could, however, be so overbearing that one is left trapped, finding themselves in an unrequested life, unable to grasp hold of the steering wheel of their life, simply be a passenger on route to a unknown destination. But just because you are answered with a dismissive glare and hear the stomach-churning, two letter word ‘NO’ do not mean you cannot find your own way. You can create your own key to open the lock!!

The film, Me Before You, follows the story of Will; a man who once was a young highflying city banker with a zest for life and had a love for travelling was left paralyzed following a motorbike accident. He was back living with his parents in a place he described “That people come to when they get tired of actually living.” Will’s life, post-accident, is a total contrast from the way he found his way in the world; from being completely independent, and in control of his destination to having to ask for assistance with every little movement and having it authorised by another person.

Will’s story merges together with the life of Lou. A young lady with a quirky personality, trying to earn money for her family, but finds herself unhappy in every job she takes. She is living in the world not truly knowing which way her life is headed. Lou then applies and is successful caregiving job to a young man, who just happens to be Will. In her first few  encounters with Will, he appears to be shut off and very closed minded to the idea of any sort of companionship with anyone including Lou; the personalities of both theses character could not be more different, with Lou always looking at life with ‘the glass half full.’ Will’s bitterness is highlighted when he says to Lou “What if I said I didn’t want you here?” to which she replies “I’m not employed by you, I’m employed by your mother.” Here we see the lack of authority Will have; the director of his life lies with someone else.  However Lou’s raw honesty to Will about the effect his pessimism on others “making….life…miserable” that results in his company “not being particularly enjoyable,” allows him to see another’s perspective and that others have difficult times too. From this moment in the film Will’s cynicism begins to fade, letting a relationship with Lou blossom. They both learn things from each other that would otherwise be an unknown territory if their lives did not pave the path that it did; from Lou’s perspective being magnified, enabling her to find a deeper meaning of life that she craved for, and Will’s ability to look beyond stereotypes and find true beauty in people, stepping out of his comfort zone. Both of these characters could be said to play a ‘teacher’ role to each other, one teaching the other vital life lessons.

This beautiful relationship between Will and Lou that makes them re-define the word life plays a deep importance in both of their lives. However for Will what he desires for is unattainable, Lou learns of Will’s wish to end his life; not wanting to endure anymore of the endless physical or emotional pain he experiences every day, as a result of his disability. In the hope that he will change his mind and see that “life is  worth living” Lou establishes and make come alive Will’s dreams, dreams of traveling, going to concerts and being part of activities that he enjoyed as what he termed as the “Old Will.” But even in times of joy, Will is reminded of what he yearns for; after He and Lou drive home from concert Will says “I just want to be a man who’ve been to a concert with a girl in a red dress, just a few minutes more” in reply to Lou’s comment “we better get you in (both still sitting in the car).” He still has to ask to do things in order to experience just a fraction of his desired life, which would perhaps be otherwise left unsaid.

Both characters show that some they can gain or regain power over their life. This is firstly demonstrated by Lou and her ability to persevere with the cynical temperament of Will when they both meet, showing him the light amongst the darkness of his perspective. Throughout the film we see Lou’s sense of self blossoming, being able to stand up for herself and not having something or someone else have power over her. Secondly Will regains his ability to be heard and respected. This is first demonstrated when Lou expresses the effect he has had on her when she tells him “I have become a whole new person because of you,” indicating that he have the abilities to change people lives, even if it is unconsciously.  A second way in which he regains authority is by having the final say on the direction of his life. Although Will is tried to be convinced that he could still experience life and fulfil his dreams, he wants to experience those things as the “Old Will”; he is still wishes to die. After six months of when he first shared his wish with his parents, he makes his final journey to Switzerland whereby he ends his life. This was solely Will’s decision and a decision he persisted with. Even though people who authorised the way he lived was in disagreement, Will got back control of his life and directed it in the way that he knew best.

All my love XX

A Beauiful Retreat

Hello Readers,

Being outside is one of my favourite places to be-out in nature. The reason why? It is the most peaceful place to be yet so many tremendous things happen. I would like to take you on a small journey and share my thoughts with you! Along with words I have also included some photos to please the eye!

Stepping on to a path follows a journey of tranquillity that allows one to experience unexpected and unimaginable beauty of nature.  Enjoying a leisurely stroll, breathing in the fresh air and listening to the rustle of the leaves as they skip along the ground, the birds singing a sweet lullaby as they innocently perch on the branches of trees and the gentle whisperings of a breeze as it moves across the grass; it is a moment of complete enjoyment. I marvel at the fecundity of the landscape and all the vibrant colours of the wild flowers that sit on the bank of the clear, still lake which reflects the outline of the few clouds that are in the deep blue sky.

Out in the open space whereby there are no distractions, no roaring of traffic, no rushing, continuity between man and nature can be found. Just like when the calmness of lake is disturbed by passing ducks causing temporary ripples in the water, on such walks one’s mind can wonder interrupting the retreat from the busy, urban life- when suddenly a small, interesting insect flies past-nature have captured the mind’s attention once again. This journey is one of surprise and excitement everywhere is something of excitement and of newness-no two steps are ever the same: different insects, different colour birds, different views. Thoughts of intrigue and amazement are ever present when I discover another treasure of the outside world.

Being outside can sometimes be taken for granted; not completely switching off from our own world, freeing our mind to absorb the surrounding beauty which would perhaps be ordinarily left unnoticed. Adventures in nature are uniquely refreshing allowing a new or renewed enjoyment of the outside world to be gained, growing new perspective on past or present events, or simply giving a ‘feel good’ energy from being outside. With this rejuvenated sense of self, one is ready to return to city life and close the garden gate, at least for another while.

I hope you have enjoyed this journey,

Until next time,

All my love XX

 

The Wolf of Time

Hello Readers,

Lately I have been thinking about the concept of time and its meaning. I thought I would share my thoughts and questions with you and maybe ‘open a new door’ as to how time is percevied!!

If time was a character what would it be? Would time be a character deemed as enchanting and one that radiates warmth? Would you personify time as a protector, allowing you to experience beautiful and meaningful moments, aiding your development? Or would you describe time as a cruel, deceitful and overriding character, letting the vibrant lights of life quickly fade with its shadow looming over, reflecting the stillness of your world?- Back to the real life you go, you hear time say. How would the face of your time look? Would it have an endearing smile and eyes which would unlock and grant you your hopes and dreams that you envisioned? Or would time’s face be emotionless, giving you a cold glare with its stone eyes that conveys authority and overruling power, leaving you feeling crushed?

The idea of what time is, what time means, can change throughout one’s life. Time in childhood should bring one moments of joy, beauty and pleasure, a period in which one is given a chance to explore their surroundings, a stage in which that dreams are created. As children we try to hold on to the aspects of life that filled with fun, laughter and love, trying to make activities which exudes such moments last longer, whilst rushing through other more mundane activities. It could be said that time is segmented, renamed and categorised into joyful and pleasurable and gloomy and uninspiring events; the way in which a child expresses these times suggest how favourable or favourable they are. For example the way that a child excitably announce that ‘Its playtime’ depicts that it’s moment of magic and wonder, contrary to when ‘Its homework time’ said in a lifeless tone.

This want to breeze past some moments of time and meander through others is shared by adults, but to a lesser extent. Suddenly you wake up to the fact the there is no second chance; time is slippery, there is a limit to how long you have to hold on to something. It is only as you get older that you truly appreciate time and what time have given you; you might have been taught useful lessons, making you wiser and equipped for the unused time, you might have been given a chance to fulfil a dream or simply given you moments for you to treasure.

The harsh fact that time is running out, or that time is not giving you enough space to full, leaves you panicking, trembling with fear: ‘I want to do this..’ ‘When can I do this now?’ Yet whilst one experience all these thought and feelings, time is still continuing, getting older, fading; the volume of life left in the timer is slowly disappearing. W. H Auden once wrote in a poem ‘You cannot conquer time,’ personifying time as an all-knowing character. However instead of taking on a defeatist view, seeing time as an enemy, create a harmonious connection with time, go forward with ease. Change that monologue in your head from ‘What I could haves’ to ‘What I can dos.’ Make time your friend; is it the one that will see you until the very end- who knows how your character of time could change?!!

I hope you have enjoyed this read and thank you for you so much time!!

Untill next time,

All my love XX

Loss and The Danish Girl

Hello Readers,
A lot of thoughts have occurred, after watching a very moving film, The Danish Girl. After wiping away a tear and taking a moment to embrace the beautiful messages that were illustrated in the film one theme I kept coming back to was loss. Loss is so elegantly depicted in The Danish Girl and suggests that there can be a positive streak in loss, amongst that chaos and destruction it causes. In the rest of this post I will share with you what loss means to me and how it is conveyed in The Danish Girl.

Loss is one of life’s most difficult battles and is something which so few escape. This feeling can be scaring, making people change, sometimes for worse, making them feel ostracised from society and simply being an observer of the world around them. They see others going about their lives while frozen in theirs. They see what they see as ‘complete’ contentment of other individuals, imagining what their happiness is like: colour of life captured seems vibrantly lit and warm in contrast to the grey-scale and melancholic tone of theirs. As said these grief-stricken individuals are somewhat disconnected from the world, hypersensitive to the appearance of things, only considering the surface without the depth, of what they are yearning to grasp.

The crippling state loss causes have the potential to be flipped, turned around and made in to something positive. Like rainwater plays a role in allowing seeds to grow, loss can also allow a new found strength within a person to be discovered. For instance it could make one revaluate life, letting go of things that hinders their development. Again, like rainwater that washes away damaging elements from plants, the rain allows plants to blossom into vibrant coloured flowers which they were meant to be.

Loss is an underlying theme within the film The Danish Girl. The film beautifully illustrates an immensely personal issue; the main protagonist Einar, is trapped in a body he explains to be ‘sick,’ and have a desire to recapture life through the eyes and body of Lilli. The emotional agony that Einar goes through is also shared by his wife Gerda; both go through a state of loss. For Einar a loss of a life he believes he should be living, fantasising about being a women For Gerda a loss of her husband as he discovers his true self.

The first glimpse of Einar’s true character is revealed when Gerda asks him to pose as a ballerina in order for her to complete a portrait (her model was unable to come to the studio) draping an off-white ballerina dress over him. What is to Gerda a ‘fun’ thing to do, it is a deeper enjoyment for Einar: getting in touch with his true self. He softly traces his finger over the silk material of the dress as if it was a fragile treasure. He gets lost and for a moment, his true identity is able to come to the surface. Einar is then passed a bunch of lilies by his friend, for Gerda to sketch, the friend then jokes ‘we shall call her Lilli.’ As they laugh at the passing comment, Einar’s wondering eyes are now captured-Einar now knows the name of the person that he believes to be him. Both Einar and Gerda then dress up Einar as a women when they attend an artist event. Gerda believes this would be another would be a playful thing for her and her husband to do, however for Einar it is another opportunity to the with the true self; exploring the world through Lilli, emulating the delicate, elegant and feminine gestures/body language from the other women at the event. As Lilli makes quiet observations of the world around her, she is then greeted by Henrik. It is here that we see a glimmer of her vulnerability, shyness and restriction. When Henrik questions her, wanting to get to know this mysterious women, Lilli is unable to let herself be free amongst the others in the hall. However when Lilli and Henrick find a place to be alone, the true character of Lilli unravels, letting herself embrace the moment, letting a stranger be the first person to only know Lilli. This refreshing moment fades when Gerda appears. Einar again takes over.

The theme of loss becomes more pronounced from this point on for both Einar and Gerda. As Einar’s belief that he is a women grows stronger, his relationship with his wife becomes strained, although she feeds him support and courage for the person he so longs to be. Here the film illustrates the human fight between wanting one’s own needs to be met and that of others. Gerda’s struggle to let Einar be the person he wants to become and therefore letting go of her beloved husband that she longs to return is evident. Gerda’s wish to fulfil her promise to always be there for Einar gets lost with the growing presence of Lilli. Lilli’s remarks when Gerda asks about her interest in art “Einar is dead” “I don’t know what Lilli likes” are harrowing for Gerda; it is still Einar who Gerda sees, thus the shared interest in art is what Gerda wishes for in order to keep her connection with her husband alive. The raw honesty of Lilli’s words illustrates the new reality for Gerda and the relationship with her husband; it is no longer existence.

For Gerda Einar’s physical disappearance is heart wrenching but for Lilli it is the start of self-discovery, liberation and simply being at one. We see Lilli’s delight in being viewed in the way in which she longs for by the way she confidently smiles to passers-by as she strolls down the street, elegantly dressed. Even though Lilli’s dream to be seen as a women is being gradually being fulfilled, there is also an air of sadness that can be elicited. Lilli’s conviction is only respected and encouraged by few people and something which she had to accept in order to achieve a deep wish. As Lilli sets out to live her long awaited dream, she loses close connections with people especially with Gerda. Even though Gerda goes to Lilli in her hour of need, Lilli is alone when she goes to complete her transformation. Gerda could be suggesting her unwillingness to say goodbye to Einar, unable to accept the finality of the change. This sense of reluctance can be extended to all types of loss, when one is unable to comprehend the changes of their lives, trying to hold on to scrapings of the past which are no longer there.
In order for a person to have their own identity, an individual must go in search to find themselves, if they have not already. The Danish Girl, conveys this message by tackling a complex issues, a man’s wish to be a woman. Even after the physical changes that take place for Lilli, Einar is still somewhere within. After the second operation she says ‘I had a dream’ and explains that in the dream her mum ‘called me Lilli’ when she was born. This highlights Lilli wish to have been ever present, being only known as Lilli. When back brought to reality, a complete Lilli is unattainable; her body was unable to cope with the physical alterations she underwent. The words describing the dream were the last words of Lilli’s. She returned to her dream; the world in which would allow Lilli to be Lilli and no longer lost. This sense of peace is also heightened when Gerda visits her husband’s homeland after Lilli dies. Gerda’s scarf that was worn by Lilli gets carried by a gust of wind in to the sky, soaring above the landscape suggesting Lilli has been free to return home if it is only in sprit. Gerda says to “Let her be free” suggesting that she has also come to terms with her loss, finally accepting Lilli for who she was. In turn Gerda could be said to have also set herself free by allowing herself to be ‘ok’ with the changes that have taken place.

This film powerfully conveys the theme of loss and how it can affect people in different ways. The Danish Girl beautifully illustrates the many layers of such a complex, controversial and emotional journey of self-discovery and one that affect many along with the main protagonist. This film show that if one can overcome, or come to terms with, a painfully emotional event one can reach some form of peace.

I hope you have enjoyed this read and thank you so much for reading!!
Until next time,
All my love XX