A Beautiful Awakening

Dear Reader,

Have anyone ever told you that the possibilities are endless? Well, my fabulous one, the possibilities ARE endless!!!

I have recently and have experienced and reaffirmed this. This has allowed me to simply feel, in every sense of the word, alive!!! And this all started with a text. Yep, that right a text from my gorgeous Sister-who I have previously introduced you to as Mermaid-, with the words ‘the holiday is booked.’ This random, out of the blue message left me, as you can imagine, a tad confused. It turns out that we would be going to Greece and would be next to the sea. A type of holiday I have always dreamt of, but somehow I thought would never happen. Maybe I subconsciously I feared ‘how this would work?’ and with this, I am referring to traveling to somewhere like this with a disability and my wheels. I always write to you to say go live your dreams and don’t be feared out of living and I think I have been honest with this, but even I sometimes get double-thinking and question myself, until I either wake myself or get woken. This time Mermaid beautifully woke me!!!

Me and Mermaid

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Sooo, last month I saw, I felt, I smelt, I heard and (of course-this is me) I tasted Greece and it was noting short of magical!! Greece welcomed as we were touching down witnessing the most beautiful sunset –the excitement began!! The first glimpses of Greece in morning rays were stunning!!

One of the things that I love most in life is trying new things and going to different places as it constantly allows you to shift your perspective. My time in Greece definitely allowed this to happen. Just going with the days, being present in the moment and absorbing all of what the days had to offer is something I did, with my full attention captured by what I saw before me. The ability to fully be in the moment is something one should be able and allowed to do regardless of where they are; in their daily routines or in new environments. However by being somewhere new, the ability to stop the busy mind or at least, allow the mind to be a little calmer is, somewhat, easier; there are no pressures, no deadlines and there is a complete disconnection from your own culture for a while; you can just be with the environment and the people you are with.

I recently heard someone say that life is lived in moments and I wholeheartedly agree with this; for me, how you relate and behave to life is reflected in the moments you live. Therefore, the obvious question is then, how to you live your moments? Are they lived stationary? Are they lived mundanely? Are they lived repetitively? Are they lived through fear? Are they lived through boldness? Are they lived individually? And most importantly, are they a reflection of you? Whilst being on the beach, I realised just how different the definition of enjoyment is for each person and how they wish to live their moment on the beach; some relishing the rays of the sun and sunbathing, some were enjoying a walk along the beach, some were swimming in the sea, some were paragliding and some were –what looked liked- introducing their children to the sea. We all see, feel and think in unique ways and play out these senses in ways we feel fit best. I lived my moment on the beach by being by the shallows of the sea and watched the waves covering my legs like a warm blanket! The refreshing air, the sea breeze and the lovely company I had with Mermaid are times I truly cherish, being a perfect retreat for the soul!!!

As I sat there looking across the deep blue sea, I realised what living and being alive actually is. All these stories and lies we tell ourselves do not serve any nutrients for growth, it does the opposite and eats away at the ones we have. We tell ourselves we can’t, that it just too hard- but we are still picturing in our mind what it would be like to do that thing we want although ‘we can’t.’ I was able to do something that excited me everyday, unaware of what each day would bring but eager to find out how the day would unfold!! This was a long way from that subconscious thought I had! My wheels allowed me to see Greece- hugely helped by Mermaid and made me see that whatever obstacles you have, there is always a way!!

My fabulous one, you should not be feared out of your desires. The dreams that you have, you have dreamt of them for a reason-it is your duty to live them!!!Thank you to my beautiful Mermaid for this reminder!!!

All my love XX

I Am Proud of Me!!!

Dear Reader,

A few months ago, when I posted Here’s to you! Here’s to me! Here’s to us! I asked you to celebrate you and the amazing things you have achieved; no matter how big or small you think they are, they ARE significant!! I would like to share with you something very important to me that I achieved over the last few months!!!

*Search for the little girl inside of you needed for this part.* As young girls, some of us admired the magic and mystery of dress up and make-up taking notice of what routines our mums and/or other influential women in our life undertook as they got ready. The curious little ladies that we were, would be vocal with our curiosity and ask questions such as “What are you putting on your lips?” She would reply and show us how the lipstick is applied and ask us to be their model and apply the glitzy lipstick on us, hell yes we thought-we are already in position!!! “Now press you lips together for that beautiful smooth finish” she would say after putting it on our lips, showing us this action. We would then copy with excitement and maybe do this action countless times, (yep I did this,- I’m pretty sure that lipstick didn’t stay long on!!) feeling really adult!!!

When we get older we might develop more of an interest in make-up and wearing a little ourselves, wanting to be a little woman. I know I did!  I was around 14 when I got my first powder – it was in a round, mint green box by Miss Sporty I felt so excited to try it out-the little woman in me was unleashed! As you might know, if you have visited my blog before, I have Cerebral Palsy and as part of how I am affected is that my hands can be a little uncoordinated, so me applying make-up…well you could definitely I see I had something on my face but I am not so sure that it would have been finished look I was aiming for! So to avoid looking like a clown or something along those lines, someone else would apply my make-up, this would be either my mum or my sister. I feel really grateful that that these beautiful ladies- who are my influential women of all time- took time to help me get ready and knew that it was important to me but as I got older and especially recently I wondered what it would be like to do my own make-up when going out.

So…..instead of just wondering-because we all know that don’t lead anywhere most of the time- a few months ago I thought I would try. At first I was worried in case I couldn’t do it and scrutinize what I might have done, comparing it to a picture in my mind, and be more annoyed than before with not being able ‘to go and do my thing.’ Whilst having these thoughts I then realized I am doing the exact opposite of what I say to others when they experience symptoms of fear, telling them to ‘just go for it.’ Having answered myself the question to ‘what I would say to someone else?’, I psyched myself up and decided I would just see what happens; I took out my make-up bag, sat at my  dressing table and started to apply! I started with my powder, took my time and just allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of DOING my own make-up! Now, as you know I am a big supporter of self-belief, but it is nice to seek reassurance when you are not 100% sure on something. So on this day I asked my sister for advice on how the make-up looked. It turned out I didn’t do too badly!!

From that day, I have continued to do my own make up when going out, getting better and more confident with this. The feeling of getting ready has totally changed, getting ready is definitely more fun!!! The other day my sister and I were going out and we could get ready TOGETHER, rather than my sister doing my make up for me. With this we could ask each questions, such as ‘have I got too much blusher on?’ and just enjoy the getting ready process, whilst jamming to some tunes of course!!

There might be some who will read this and not ‘get’ why being able to put on make-up is a big deal but duuuude, it is-to me it is-.  Being able to do something you couldn’t do before is a huge deal giving you such an empowering feeling-you know all thatdetermination and hard work has paid off!! Dig deep and shout your personal achievements loudly and proudly!!! You could start-if you wanted-by sharing in the comments below, what you are proud of yourself for?

Looking forward to celebrating you!!

All my love XX

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Autumn Sunshine

Photos in this post were taken by my beautiful sister, she can be found @thewanderingmermaid_xox

Dear Reader,

This time of year, many of us experience the all to common and perhaps overly thought ‘summer blues’; long hazy days are shortening, day trips in the great outdoors are more depended on ‘weather permitting’ and if we do decide to go we make sure we have an umbrella or a coat or something warm or anything we think we might need ‘just in case.’ We think the best and brightness days of the year are mostly behind us, wishing for summer to come back sooner than scheduled!!

But can I let you into a secret?? As well as summer I also love autumn! There is so much excitement in a new season; different things to do, different pace of life (maybe you have exciting things coming or may it time for you to have a little peaceful recline), different atmosphere. More noticeably nature shows us how change can be so very wonderful; the colour of the leafs turning from vibrant green to golden brown and shades of purple, the fresher, the fresher air making you feel more revitalised, the crunchy sound as you walk on the many fallen leafs on the footpath and you being an expectant witness of an elegantly falling leaf as it finds its place on the ground. The latter imagery of autumn may bring about an air of sadness and of loss with the idea of things ending, but, like everything, there is ALWAYS a flip side; falling leaves demonstrate the need for something new.

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The above quote beautifully captures a definition of autumn and connote that it does need to be so melancholic: nature, like humans, is a process of continual growth, shedding those things which do not serve this growth in order for more flourishing acts to take place-for nature this means developing its hypnotising colours ready to display them in spring and for humans this means developing in our strengths so that we can radiate our vibrancy. So autumn acts, metaphorically, as a backdrop for personal growth. Identifing the things you need to let go of is diffcult, thinking those are the very things that will keep you safe but actually they are keeping you captive. What is it you want to develop? What is it you need to let go off in order for this growth to take place? The next time you take an autumn walk and see leaves fluttering in the air think of the things you want to let go of and imagine they were the very leaf that passed you by. Breathe and let go. Enjoy the autumnal landscape and all the beauty it has to offer!! Redefine YOUR autumn!!

All my love XX

Choose To Be Grateful

*This photo was taken by my beautiful Sister

Dear Reader,
What are you grateful for? What, in reflection, makes you thankful for the breath you are breathing?

Gratitude for the life I lead is something I have felt so deeply recently and want to share my thoughts with you! My trail of thought has been inspired by the multitude of devastation that have occurred in the world over the previous months and just this week the horrific conditions of the third world have been highlighted  once again- kindness is still in a severe drought.

We so very seldom stop and think; living in a fast paced society, trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses,’ pushing to be the best, and maybe, when our ego comes into play, try to outdo others. These primitive activities that society has created leave little or no room to think outside of our bubble, or what this bubble even denotes. So often we complain of not having enough, beginning sentences with “I wish I had,” but in fact those desirers- you and I- have hold of things others just dream of. This leads me to the thinking, and I will speak for myself here (as I don’t know your situation), how in fact I do have a luxurious lifestyle. Before you get ahead of yourself and create ungraspable, idyllic picture perhaps thinking that I’m some pompous jerk, not actually aware of what I am writing and how you may feel as a result of this-let me explain. When someone thinks of luxury and being luxurious they may associate it with having glistening diamonds, designer clothes, going to dinners at fancy restaurants etc., but in fact luxury is more to do with the ability to choose.

The ability to choose is something for I have in everyday day life. For example right from the morning I can DECIDE if I WANT to shower and with what soap, I can DECIDE whether I WANT a strong coffee OR tea and DECIDE how much milk and how many sugars I WANT, I can DECIDE whether I’ll start my day with cereal (and what type?) OR toast (and any toppings?) OR a cooked breakfast, then I can DECIDE what to wear, which could be based on weather OR the activities of the day, the day goes on I make more decisions- how I WANT to communicate with others by face-to-face OR ringing OR texting OR emailing OR through social media and what other activities I WANT to do that day and what, where, when, to have lunch/dinner. All these decisions that I make are MY choices in order to carve out the day and life I WANT.  These decisions and the notion of making everyday decisions, denotes luxuries yet I forget this way too often, luxuries that for many are unheard of- if I exchanged a ‘day in the life of..’ note with someone less fortunate than me, what  would I uncover? What would be different? Would anything be similar? What decisions would they have? How would this make them feel? What would they be grateful for?

I’m not saying that I should or anyone else who is lives a day made from a library of choices should feel guilty, unworthy or deny ourselves of the things, but we should be grateful; grateful for the environment we live in, grateful that live the life we do, grateful for the people round us and grateful for ourselves to experience the wonders our life however happy or sad as we can develop from this, allowing us to become stronger people. We were given this life to live it our way, using the tools we have; yearning for things we wished we had or that we think would make life better is ludicrous. Look within; what do you have to be grateful for? Look around you; what do you have to be grateful for? Celebrate your life and ALL you have!!!

All my love XX

Thriving Together

 

Dear Reader,

Up until now I have only disclosed about my disability once, earlier this year. Finding My Shoes was a way of saying yes I have cerebral palsy but I am a lot more than that. I am a lot more than the results you would find on Google if you were to type in ‘cerebral palsy.’ I would be waving my hands over here hoping you’d asked me directly about CP and my experience, instead of using a one-dimensional medium to assemble a picture; this picture would be highly inaccurate-no definitely inaccurate-, sorry to insult your wild imagination.
I am going to add a new element to From This Window, sharing you my experience of CP. I’m not quite sure if this whole new element will work, or whether it will work at all, but I am excited to see how this path will unfold. I hope that through writing about my journey with CP I will be more able to speak about my disability more comfortably and maybe through this new dimension, other people with CP or with other obstacles can relate and together we can thrive; I’m all for dancing on my own but isn’t it exciting, sometimes, when achievements are shared and built with others!! Who’s with me?!!

I have previously described to you that for me CP is like a lifelong teacher, so I will now share with you some tips and tricks that I have learnt and still learning along way!!!

Laughter, laughter and, yep, more laughter. People that know me will know I love to laugh and try to seek fun wherever I can. I think this innate quality is what has kept me level headed with CP. Therefore in a situation quite easily seem bleak, which would allow them moody clouds to roll in, I try and see a gap between CP and me. So when I rock up in my wheelchair and meet people for the first time they might act rather strange, by this I mean they might speak in slow motion and being quite patronising as if they I trying to feed me I brain cell that I need to chomp on. Then I reply: It is so funny to watch their faces as I speak, as if I have just ripped up their treasured tales that they whole-heartedly believed about society. I almost tell them “yep, I have seen enough of you tonsils,” but that would spoil the fun! On a serious note though, it is these moments ,when you feel that you are being prejudge, is when you need to whack up that fun dial in your mind and take whatever shred of light you can. This extends to making fun out of yourself: instances where CP does it thing and throws in a few wobbles as I walk, I see it as a unique style of ballet (but my toes remain completely intact).I am not saying that it is easy because sometimes it is very hard, especially the days when  you don’t feel as fabulous as you should; but please remember time will past and your time is to precious so don’t let anyone  or anything influence your state of mind- remove the root of that weed!!

Stop looking for excuses. We are the best at making excuses for ourselves- we did invent it after all!! We blame anything we can as to why we can’t do something and then we believe in that blame and think that it is real and so it becomes, as we think, a legitimate reason for why we can’t do something. I hold my hand up and say I have excused myself from situations because I believed in the obstacle I put  in the way; my speech is slightly impaired and used this to hide behind and asked who I knew well to speak on my behalf. But I wasn’t giving myself the chance to let others hear me, already thinking that I knew how and interaction would pan out: I would say something but they wouldn’t understand, then I would repeat what I said but they still wouldn’t know what I was saying, meanwhile my face would grow red with embarrassment. BUT this was my prejudgment. Slowly, with the encouragement of family and other people around me I grew my voice and realised that, on the whole, most people did understand me, in turn this increased me self-esteem. There are still time when people don’t understand words I say, but then I think how else I can phrase this to be understood. If that don’t work, I then ask my companion to repeat what I have said. There are still times when this excuse tries to creep in, but then there’s a saying “if you did it once you can do it again.” If that don’t talk to my excuse, I don’t know what will!!

Get creative! This tip follows from the previous. Having a disability means that sometime you have to take an alternative route to get to where you want to go-who wants to be a sheep anyway(not that I have anything against sheep)?! So, you knock down the walls of “I can’t,” step out of your comfort zone, move your sorry butt and make it happen!!  For me this means thinking of the resources that I have and using them to my advantage. I am doing this right now by writing to you. I am combining my experience of CP with my passion of writing and motivating others and moving forward to be more honest and open with myself and others; by starting with something that is more natural to me, i.e. writing thoughts down, it could help me in others areas life and how I deal with situations. So, moral of the tip: use what you got!

Never feel guilty! Okay big, scary, deep, I-can’t-believe-I-could-actually-write-that-down tip!!! This is something I am still learning and maybe will always be a continuing lesson. As a result of my CP, I need assistance from others for everyday tasks; this reliance on others at times leaves me with a deep sense of guilt, knowing that they are giving up their time for me. I know the people around might think these thoughts are completely absurd and might even be hurt, which is not my intention at all and heighten my guilt in turn. But instead of continuing on this helpless and hopeless path, I can channel this guilt into gratefulness and being thankful that there are people in my life who help me and allow me to continue to make the most out of living!! This was very hard to write, but important to write-write out your demons and change them into helpful elves!!

Just forget about!! Urmmm…okay this might strange, giving these words half a sneer, but seriously dude, drop the resistance and just forget about it once in a while!! Whatever your challenge is you deserve to take a break from it and let something else capture your full attention! Don’t you ever just enjoy the freeing feeling of just being in the moment? Well, I love it! It‘s in these times when I am most myself! Disability is not a definition of me nor should I let it; it’s something I happen to have, just like I happen to be a girl. So I will go out and enjoy, singing and dancing the night away, I will face fears and go on cable cars, squeezing my friend’s  hand in the process (for that I am very sorry), I will go and find nature hidden gems and admire something so much more greater and magnificent than ever imaginable and I will laugh because, Reader, life can be beautiful if you just let it and just be you, the fun-loving, inexcusable, creative, guilt-free, care-free you!!

These tips that I have learnt have helped me tremendously and keeps me moving forward. I hope these tips has also caused you something to think about; I would truly love to know what you think and maybe you have guidelines of you own you live by to help you, feel free to share this too!! Let’s thrive together!!

All my love XX

Mermaid and I

Dear Reader,

We all have special people in our lives that add that something to your life. I am very blessed to say that an extremely special person that makes life, living comes in the form of my sister. From my experience of being and having a sister, I can appreciatively say that it is a great privilege! A Sister for me is synonymic with having a lifelong friend; someone who you have known for always, someone who knows all of your quirks- good and bad- and is accepting of them and someone that is always there.

A sisterly relationship such as the one I have experience can be rare; I am really puzzled when I’m asked “So, do you get on with your sister?”  I have only one answer My sister is my best friend.”

My sister, I will introduce you to on here as Mermaid, has such an importance in my life and makes me a better stronger and more confidant person, always telling me to ‘’go, get it,’’ when I present doubts. You know them people who make you forget your woes? – Well meet Mermaid. She has the ability to do this. With Mermaid around you are never down beat for too long; laughs are endless. Whether it’s the everyday girlie questions – ‘’What shoes go better with this skirt’’ or the more in depth conversations where we’ll go on a long drive and chat everything out, or the ‘let’s just have fun’ days, I know I call on Mermaid.

My sister and I have always been close, but as time goes by years and experiences pulls us closer together and allow us to have a better understanding of each other; it is these insights that enable us both to be stronger people and with this can encourage each other in areas we are not so great in and celebrate and enjoy other parts of our lives.

A voice of reason, a zest for life and radiance of sunshine is how I would describe Mermaid. She is such a great motivator to me and shows me just what courage can do, if you are to fully embrace it! I love Mermaids fearless  pursuit of wanting to explore the world and her countless traveling stories are so inspiring, I’m sooo excited for her travels later this year.

I believe her positive soul is influenced by her spirituality. With this, she has used her spirituality to not only empower the self but others in her life, which is a really wonderful thing. Mermaid has taught me and others so much through her journey of spiritual growth and has shown me how deeply connected we all are to the Universe. ’Everything you need is within you’’ as Mermaid would say.

Recently, Mermaid has started a new venture and is turning what she once saw as a dream into a living reality, setting up her online jewellery business, The Wandering Mermaids. Her ideas and creativity are simple brilliance. These authentic handmade pieces are constructed with thought, imagination and array of vibrant colours. The jewellery created captures Mermaid’s heart; fun, liveliness and love, infused with elegance. She has also displayed her mystical side by incorporating elements of spirituality in her designs. Below are some of my favourite creations Mermaid have made:

This new project is really exciting for Mermaid and I am so thrilled at how wonderfully it’s taken off. Watching her making custom made orders with so much love makes me so happy. You can also follow her journey and also request orders on her Instagram page @thewanderingmermaids

She has shown me that there are no limits, that limits are figments of the imagination and that with a little self-believe, you can do anything! She continues to me my guiding light.

I have really enjoyed sharing with you this treasured person in my life. Through writing about my sister and describing the beautiful relationship I have with her, it has made me more grateful for her existence; I truly would be lost without her. I am forever thankful for my experience of sisterhood.

All my love XX

Believe. Then Do!!

Dear Reader,

This post will be strangely short! I just want to remind you one thing that I heavily promote on this blog, something I believe is important, to remind others that YOU CAN!!

Over the past year and a bit since I have been writing to you, my confidence and desire to share my thoughts and words with others have grown stronger; from my first post where I said to myself “Just go with it!” not realising then how important writing to you would be to me! In my writing I work hard to create pieces I hope to encourage, motivate or simply make you think- if my words are to have an effect on you. From the feedback I have got from you I think I am doing this!! You, by doing this, have told me I can!!! And with this I have taken an exciting, unknown adventure with my writing- I am now very, very excited to announce that I am now a contributor for the online magazine, In-Spire LS Magazine!! This magazine is, to me, an incredible platform that works towards empowering their readers in varied ways. It is my absolute dream come true to be a part of such a positive community and to have another outlet to share my passion! It is a reminder to have self-believe, if this only a small glimmer-hold on to it and do not let go!! (There, you have been told!! : ) ) Your hard work and dedication will serve you well!!

A huge huge thank you to you for your continuing support, it really means so much!! Without my readers, I would not have this confidence to take these risks!!

I will sign off with a quote, by author R.S Grey, that always pulls at my heart strings; I think these simple words encompass so much depth:

“She believed she could, so she did”

 

All my love XX

A Dedication

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Dear Reader,

We all think we have time. Time to do that thing we keep putting off, sometime next week. Time to go to that place we promise ourselves we will go to, someday. And the dangerous type mistrust put in time, time to phone or message someone tomorrow. But in fact in a flash, the imagination invested into how things would be and creating in our minds the how a particular event would go, the experiences we may gain from a certain place, or the conversations we may have with someone, all is suddenly gone. Just like that. Just like that all our fantasies are left as fantasies without them ever evolving into play. Just like that all this hyped emotion surrounding anxiety and anticipation over the predicted future disappears. Just like that we find ourselves grieving over yesterday and wishing we had acted sooner. It is these ‘cold shower’ moments, which make us be in sync with our senses and in touch with where and who we are and who we could become if we were more open; if we can’t do this for ourselves, do this for what has been lost. This is a very hard concept to grasp; it can take hours, days, weeks, months or even years to realise and come to terms with what was taken by time, unable to comprehend the present. It could be something that we are able to just barely touch with our fingertips.

I had this school friend. This friend and I shared a mutual fondness, laughs and banter, and used to speak with eyes when speaking with words were an unavailable option. School years went by and it was time for my friend to move onto university (they were 2 years older), we said we’d keep in touch and for a while we did. However we lost contact, only saying a quick hello at birthdays- they were only two days apart, but my friend was never far from my mind, they were too special. Although my friend and I shared similar ground, both living with a physical disability, we did not share much about our personal difficulties; maybe this was because we were caught up being teenagers, maybe they too big to express, or maybe they just escaped our minds for a while. One thing I didn’t know about my friend, at the time, is the extent of their condition: that it was life limiting. But maybe if I knew this, the friendship we had would have been different, maybe we just shared enough- in order for both of us to enjoy and benefit from the exchange. Recently my friend has passed away. To say the least, this was quite shocking. My friend was only 25 years old. They were at an age where most people at this age are trying to get a handle on adulthood, with some having freak-out moments of not being where they thought they would be. But, really, are these mind crippling thoughts worth it? Life is more than career, money, materialistic things-that eventually you grow tired of. The one question that we all should be asking ourselves is what makes us happy? As I write I wonder what thoughts my friend had. What did they think of peoples’ worries about the trivial things? Did they have thoughts which began ‘what I would do is’? What did they prioritise? A dominant question in my mind is, was my friend scared?

I feel guilty that l lost touch with them and didn’t let them know I was thinking them. I feel guilty that now it is too late to turn my thought -maybe I’ll send them a message- into an action. I hope this post connotes how much I did value the friendship we had.

These times of grieve and loss, are reminders that we have only now to live. It is now we can make changes. Now we can remove the negatives and focus on the positives and finding, or living, in our personal definitions of life. Most importantly it is now that we have to reach out the people we care about and build on our relationships’, don’t let it be too late to demonstrate how much you value others. There might not be tomorrow.

I am dedicating this post to my friend. A friend that has taught me not to take time for granted.

All my love XX

A Reflection

Dear Reader,

On February 15th 2016, exactly one year ago today, I first shared with you a view From This Window. Back then I did not quite know how my words or thoughts would be or would not be, received, but I knew I wanted this blog to promote motivation and hope as well as creating a space to communicate my reflections and ideas about this weird and wonderful world!!

From This Window is a take on the saying “Eyes are the windows to the soul,” what I write, what I share with you and what you read, is how I think of and feel the world. Also, and very crucially important From This Window means that what I express to you are my views. I am not here to tell you “This is THE and only way,” you might completely disagree with what you read and that is okay, we all have our own path- I just like sharing some of my soil!!

However I cannot take all of the credit for the platform of which I share my passion of writing; just over a year ago my very dear friend proposed to me the idea of creating a space to share my words, an idea which at first startled me and, like any big idea, formed an array of thoughts that left no singular thought to breathe and grow. Could I present my imagery and view point accurately enough? Would my words be of interest? In this moment of fluster I left out two vital questions, two questions that should be at the forefront of any venture, creatively or otherwise, which are what is important to me? and what point do I want to make? A few days after this conversation and a lot of mulling over these thoughts, I saw the incredibly beautiful film The Danish Girl. I then had an ‘a-ha’ moment. I would write about The Danish Girl focusing on loss, a theme very prominent in the film and a subject which I could also identify with. The next thing was Loss and The Danish Girl was created! Through writing to you, my passion for writing has deepened even more. I have been able to express to you itching thoughts, and hope that at least some of what I tell you will provoke thought within you. The idea of sharing more personal experiences with you was something I was slightly more apprehensive over. I could to the most detailed commentary on the world around me but writing about myself…well I just counted how many times the cursor flashed!! But through conversations and my cherished sister positive affirmation “Just be you,”  I was able to change my perspective of “I” and reveal to you things from behind this window. Since Finding My Shoes, the first post in which I did this, I find myself refreshingly comfortable in sharing with you thoughts from a more personal stance and maybe my hope for this blog to offer motivation will have more of an ability to be absorbed!!

Thank you for all your time in reading my entries over the past year and for your much appreciated feedback. If this is your first read on From This Window, thank you also for your time, I hope you will come back and visit to read more. The aim of my second year of blogging is to write to you much more and to carry on trying to do what I believe to be truly important in life and motivate others!

Here’s to the first year of From This Window!! (The cake was delicious- yes, I know another week that Sugar Sunday has been abandoned! 😉 )
All my love XX

Stop Thinking and Think!

Dear Reader,

How is that year, you called THE year going? What changes have you made? Have your desires to put your thoughts into action been fulfilled? Or has time slipped, deeming it as ungraspable and a greater force, sitting in the same chair as yesterday, wishing of a planless daydream and none of the goals of 2017 being ticked off? This platform allows the voice in your mind to be a passive nurturer that enables maintenance of this unhelpful stream of thought. The voice grows louder, keeping you stationary, as time moves forward.

Well, I’m sure I am not the first person to tell you that this dwelling on what could be, what if’s, what not’s and what could have beens’ is an experience shared by many –including myself. This thought process is something that causes utter panic and fear, by perhaps stimulating some sort of need to enter the nostalgic garden, a place where I sometimes find myself meandering, thinking the air was fresher and safe when I leave I ask myself “that was then, where am I now?” People are very talented and skilled at thinking about the past and imaging the future, but the middle bit, the bit that gets forgotten is the present. This present, as I write it. comes to me, is actually a present. While we are preoccupied with everything but the now, we are ignoring the insistent knocking of the character of the present from being let in. The sound of the present may provoke unpleasant and uneasy feelings, BUT we can use the present to change what the present echoes, and that’s why the present is a present; unwrapping its dreamy complexities and work with what is actually there!! “Good one, great, unrealistic point made” you might say. But wait before you change your choice of read, think about what you are doing right now. You are turning off the present switch and going back to your dreamland. Wouldn’t it be nice to stay and put in good grounded plans in place to have a reality of you dreams?- Come on, stay! You will also get a huge thanks!

The truth is I also had a big idea of how I would start off my 2017. The stereotypical, eat well, sugar only on weekends, keep fit and the more personal, write to you more frequently and get a plan together for what the heck I want to do next. Results from the first twelfth are in and shows a slight detour from this grand idea. I have eaten well, if this was to include my love affair with biscuits –sometimes Sugar Sunday is just not enough-, I have tried to exercise more though- maybe once a week sometimes twice but for me that’s good (I am not going red…I just got… warm all of a sudden), I am trying to plan to write to you once or twice a month, I was very lax in my first year of blogging and that didn’t sit well with me- so  I will work harder, designating time each month to try and achieve this aim! Okay I haven’t exactly demonstrated the story I sold myself before New Year, but I am trying to at least grabble with and trying and make possible my intentions. In some ways it is a very, snail-paced process BUT I am moving!!! I am trying to adopt and attitude that says don’t let your next present moment be filled with thoughts which echo ‘actually I could have done that, but I was thinking ‘what if.’ Be present now!!

I am writing this post not only to remind others and myself about the limitless wonders of the present, but to pose a question, ‘what can you/I do now?’ and with this hope that you let yourself hear the knocking of the present. In addition to this hopefully provoking thoughts, I hope that this will facilitate conversation, maybe the present has just revealed itself, maybe the plan-that was just left entitled ‘THE PLAN’- have now mapped itself out, maybe you only now have a vague idea of what you want or maybe you are just shaking your head and saying  “Sorry chick, you lost me at ‘Dear Reader’” . Whatever thoughts you have on this I would love to know!!!

I hope, for those of you still reading this, you have enjoyed you extended stay in the present- a huge thanks!!!

All my love XX